Restless Haunting
by EliteSky
Summary: Solitude versus loneliness. Restless burning within. What happens when you lost everything in your life that was important to you? What do you have left to fight for? The here and now. Spoilers, slight OOC, humour and AU later on. You'll see what I mean
1. Imaginary Friend

**I. Imaginary Friend**

_Come on, co__me on_  
_Don't leave me like this_  
_I thought I had you figured out_  
_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_  
_Can't turn back now_  
_I'm haunted_

~ Taylor Swift, Haunted

* * *

The velocycle whirred and hovered over the red plains, as the late afternoon sunlight glinted off its polished chrome surface. Clouds of dust billowed around as the vehicle finally made its gentle descent onto the soft earth. The engine was cut, and the driver sat staring ahead, waiting patiently for the sounds to die off.

"_We stick together, no matter what…"_

She exhaled softly in her leather seat, the corner of her lips curling up mockingly at the memory. Memory of a promise left unkept. The high collar of her white silk coat obscured most of her face as she dipped her head in shame momentarily. As she seemingly made peace with herself, she lifted her head with new resolve, her sapphire eyes tinged with steely determination. She swung her long legs out the side of her vehicle, and emerged to survey the landscape in a languid fashion.

_Nothing much seemed to change around here_, she mused to herself. Her knee-length white boots with onyx buckles tread heavily in the desert sands as she made her way to a small cliff that held a good view of the horizon. Moving with grace and efficiency, Lightning Farron held her posture straight with a hand on her hips, as she gazed at the crystalline structure that held Cocoon in the sky. Her other hand rested on her gunblade out of habit. Gunblade that was still sheathed at the ready in the leather holster that swung from her hips.

A year had passed since the incident. Life had moved on, despite their experiences making a different sort of brands in their hearts. Lightning had returned to her work in the Guardian Corps and earned her current rank of Captain. The two luminescent gold stripes on her shoulder plate displayed her competence proudly. Her lithe figure was still clad in the same uniform, albeit altered to suit the prominence of her position. She no longer wore her turtleneck with her beige leather jacket. Instead, a tailored white silk coat with gold trimmings hugged her torso while she wore a glossy black V-necked shirt underneath. She still wore her mini-skirt, but it was no longer made of the practical, durable denim material which allowed her to stretch in a fight. In its place was a matching white silk skirt with a side slit of such expensive cutting that she blended better in a boardroom cutting down politicians than Behemoths here in Gran Pulse. Her maroon cape was now replaced by a royal blue one. The significance of the colour was only known to her. The rich hues kept her reminded of a certain someone whom she kept close to her heart.

She swept her fringes from her eyes as she glanced upwards. Her rose-coloured hair now hung softly to her waist, the wavy tresses a comforting weight across one side of her chest and back. Every weekend, Lightning would come to this spot to chat with her imaginary friend. And she waited patiently for the sun to slowly bathe Gran Pulse in a fiery orange-red glow.

"_There you are, Sunshine! I thought you were never gonna make it…"_

As if on cue, when the glaring sunset warped the plains into a swirling haze, she heard the deep baritone voice teasing in her head. A silhouette became more prominent on the cliff, a figure with her back turned towards her. Wild, raven hair whipped in the desert wind, the sunlight making bronze streaks play across the silken tresses. The figure slowly turned towards her with a roguish grin on her face and held out her hand.

Lightning's heart constricted painfully as she took in the sight of the beauty before her. Her gloved hand curled slightly at the overwhelming urge to reach out, but she stopped. She had made that mistake once before. The first time Lightning saw her there, she had stretched out to touch her face disbelievingly. Instead of feeling the familiar and warm sun-kissed skin upon contact, her hand had passed through cold air and her personal mirage had vanished immediately. Over time, she had learnt not to expect too much of her own imagination. Now, she only made a slight huff and gave an answering smirk as she made to sit on a rocky outcrop by the side.

"I'm not late, you are…" she countered haughtily.

"_Irritable, are ya? Don't wanna make it worse for you, but you look like you could use some company, luv." _The figure clad in blue sari swung her hips confidently about, twirling her red lance lazily.

"Yeah… I'm just out of sorts now that Serah's married and moved out." Lightning replied as she fidgeted and tossed small rocks into the distance absent-mindedly.

"_Missing me already, ain't it? I'll bet you wouldn't look so lost if I were with you right now."_

Lightning turned her turquoise burning gaze to meet the warm emerald eyes behind her.

"Fang, you bloody well know the answer to that. Why don't you wake up already instead of waiting another hundred years to do so!"

The figure turned her bitter gaze away from the sudden outburst.

* * *

_Author's Notes: This is my first time writing a fanfic. I was going for a one-shot, but certain things in my life I am going through right now makes me want to continue it through Lightning and Fang. As the story progresses, do review and let me know if any of you feel the same way at some point in your life…_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this story and I've been in love with Final Fantasy since Cloud :)_


	2. Insipid Future

**II. Insipid / Future**

_I dont know what I want,  
So dont ask me, 'cause I'm still trying to figure it out.  
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking.  
Trying to see through the rain coming down.  
Even though I'm not the only one, that feels the way I do.  
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know.  
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong,  
Oh, but life goes on.  
Oh, I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world._

* * *

Claire Farron was not born a stoic person. That came later in life after her parents had passed away, casualties of the war that occurred sporadically with any Pulsian related excuse. She was once carefree, gentle and cheerful. She once had dreams and hopes for her future.

After their deaths, she cursed the Fal'Cie for taking her loved ones from her and took on a new persona to survive. To protect her baby sister and to give her all that she could not have. She ceased to have a future beyond that of Serah's well-being. She swore on her parents' graves that she would live her life through her sister, and would not waste energy on useless emotions. _Lightning_ was who she became.

The lanky teenager did not know where to start. She took on odd jobs to keep both of them fed, and ensured that Serah kept up with her school work. She herself had dropped out of school.

By chance, the Guardian Corps was recruiting. Food and lodgings were provided. She jumped at the chance to join, pursuing it with such intensity that the recruiting officer reluctantly relented, even though Lightning was hardly mature of age and so obviously a girl. They had wanted to only recruit boys, boys who would become men with the strength to protect their homes. Amodar appraised Lightning quietly, the fierce determination burning behind her cold blue eyes, the pride displayed through her jutting chin and ramrod straight posture, her muscular and toned frame she had acquired from her odd jobs. He saw potential and talent and a terrible need to be nurtured. He signed her on, on the condition that she continued her studies while undergoing her training. Glad to be offered this chance, she agreed readily.

Even though she had to be apart from Serah most days while Serah was at boarding school, she buried her loneliness in her training and studies. She would run faster, jump higher, fight longer than any of her peers. She soon proved herself to excel in strategy and swordsmanship. She was never reckless, and would surprise most with her quick thinking and calculated maneuvers. Lightning was living up to her namesake, striking competition down without hesitation. She didn't have a goal in mind, she just wanted to be better and stronger for Serah. For Serah. She didn't have anything else to think about. She herself didn't matter. She didn't _want_ anything else. Her path ahead was straight and simple, she had no desire to veer to the unknown.

Amodar watched his protégé's growth, and noted a worrying trend of increasing aloofness. Lightning didn't _need_ anyone, yet people turn to her naturally for leadership. But she would eventually distance herself from others, which was detrimental to a squad's effectiveness. She was the unwilling leader, being the most decisive and competent, but not having the aptitude to take care of her team mates beyond their physical well-being.

That was when he decided to pair the young soldier with Corporal Jayce Oaks. Jayce was older than Lightning by a few years, and had a vivacious and loud personality. She too wielded a blade, but her specialty was really in catching people off guard with her powerful attacks as compared to Lightning's quick and deadly approach.

"Girl, damn you're fast, but the angle you hold your sword is all wrong! At that rate, you'll only manage to give me a haircut instead of trying to slice my nose off!" Jayce teased. Lightning just panted and glared, continuing to twirl her steps closer to her adversary on the training floor.

Jayce was having a bit of trouble keeping up with her junior's attacks, but she was still shooting smart-ass remarks at her sparring partner.

"And what's with your face anyway? Sure, it's pretty and all, but would it kill you to open your mouth and speak? I'm not even askin' you to smile, Cocoon will drop out of the sky if that happens, Fal'Cie forbid…"

A clash of swords and Lightning was pushed back.

"You're gonna scare your sister away with that charming personality of yours… Serah was it? How does she stand your company when you look like you have something up your as—"

Lightning's cobalt eyes flashed dangerously and she did not give Jayce a chance to finish with a flurry of counterattacks. Jayce parried gamely but sidestepped off the training floor and raised her hands to call for a timeout.

"What, hurt your feelings back there doll? Looks like there's some human in you after all when it comes to your sister…"

"Don't talk like you know me. And don't assume things about Serah." Lightning bristled and intoned rudely at her superior.

"Oooh… the statue speaks! And quite a temper it has! Come on Farron, you and I are in the same squad. Communication is key, don't make me spell it out for you, like you don't know what that is…"

Lightning grunted. "You don't need to talk so much to get the job done"

"Light, Light, Light…" Jayce shook her head. "Ya don't mind me calling you that do ya? Not that I care. But if you want people to listen to your orders, ya gotta start listening to what they are saying first. They are humans, not a robot like you…"

Jayce collapsed onto the floor in exhaustion, staring at the ceiling overhead and mumbling to herself. "Fal'Cie forsaken place this is! Can't wait to get outta here once I earned my start-up fee." She wiped her dark straight hair from her sweaty face and glanced at Lightning with her shrewd dark brown eyes. "Ya ever think about what's beyond this, soldier girl?" She asked conversationally.

Lightning hesitated. She slowly put down her blade and sat next to Jayce's shoulders, pulling her slender legs to her chest while she contemplated.

"I just want to do my best in everything. Make Serah proud. Didn't think about leaving."

Jayce groaned and covered her eyes with her right forearm. "Private Farron, you actually enjoy the military life don't ya? Have ya even lived for yourself and think for yourself?"

"Corporal Oaks, with all due respect sir, there is nothing wrong with having a disciplined life. I find comfort in routine and I believe I am protecting Cocoon's citizens from external threats. There is satisfaction in that. And I enjoy my solitude and privacy."

"Solitude, fortitude, bah! Farron, you're just full of it. What ya gonna get from building stone wall, stone fence 'round your bleeding heart? Someday you're gonna wake up and find that you're all by your lonesome self, surrounded by your shiny trophies and medals that's not gonna keep you warm at night."

Jayce got up and dusted herself off. Eyeing the pink-haired teenager once more she gave her a parting remark. "Enjoy your youth and energy while you still can Farron. Start bonding with people. And I mean it that even your sister will run away from you at this rate."

Lightning continued to sit silently, thinking about Jayce's words. She could not quite comprehend the necessity of "bonding" with people. Why did she care what other people thought or did if it did not involved Serah? Why think about her future when the here and now was good and there was work to be done?


	3. Infinitesimal Fatigue

**III. Infinitesimal Fatigue**

_I tried to take the road less traveled by  
But nothing seems to work the first few times  
Am I right?  
So how can I ever try to be better?  
Nobody ever lets me in  
I can still see you, this ain't the best view  
On the outside looking in  
_

* * *

The unlikely camaraderie between Lightning and Jayce grew with time. The other squad members were surprised that anyone could even put a dent to Lightning's shell. On Lightning's part, she did not think much into the matter. She simply appreciated Jayce's candid personality and forthright attitude. Her own reclusiveness did not change, nor did her curt and succinct verbal exchanges with others. Jayce did nothing to invite or encourage this curious development of their friendship, despite acknowledging that she opened up to Lightning more than others. However, she maintained her supervisor's duties by training Lightning and equipping her with the necessary tools to get by.

"Always have ya weapon at the ready, Light. Don't wanna get caught unawares. Your best bet is gonna be keeping your blade handle near your hips. Might even get some attention off of your ass if your weapon is swinging nearby." Lightning let an uncharacteristic blush tinged her porcelain façade as the male members in her squad guffawed good naturedly at Jayce's brash remark. Jayce smirked as she stood behind Lightning and clipped a leather holster to her belt.

"What ya have now is called a gunblade. Blazefire. Certainly not GC standard issue. Amodar thought ya need a bigger sized switchblade to scare off the baddies since you look so girly and all. Try it." Jayce droned, gesturing to Lightning's new weapon. Lightning bit her lip and flexed her fingers on the handle of the blade. The grip felt good in her hands, and holstered at this position, she had to agree that it was convenient to reach for her weapon at any time. She unsheathed the metal in one smooth fluid motion and lifted one brow in surprise as it unfolded and clicked into place as a magnificent blade. Jayce guided her wrists and elbows.

"You flick it like so to fold it and use it as a gun. Flick it this way again to use it as a blade. Figured with your fast reflexes, this baby will get ya out of a pinch in close combat, and continue to deter far-off opponents with the gun."

Lightning nodded and extended her arms experimentally. The rest of the squad were in awe of her new weapon, and also slightly impressed with the dexterity she instinctively possessed when wielding it. Jayce stood to the side, head tilted and fingers tapping thoughtfully at her chin.

"Ya know, I'm right jealous of ya right now… Amodar didn't give me such a cool toy back when I was your age honey."

Lightning's head whipped up at the unfamiliar tone in Jayce's voice. Something made her uneasy and she gazed uncertainly at her mentor. Was that a hint of bitterness she detected? Jayce looked away and started rounding up the rest of the squadron, briefing them on the patrol route they needed to cover that day.

* * *

"Serah, do you think I'm close minded?"

The younger Farron glanced at the morose figure lying on the couch and frowned. It was the weekend and the sisters were spending some quality time together in their small Bodhum apartment. It was so unlike Lightning to be moping around the house.

She paused in her cooking and walked over to her sister. Squatting down to scrutinize Lightning's exquisite features, she smiled brightly and said, "Claire, you've always been there for me and I don't see you as a stranger… Is there something bothering you?"

Lightning sighed and watched the golden sunlight and dappled leaves outside the window. She loved the quiet peace of the morning, and felt invigorated observing the warm rays played amongst the jade green colours outside. She wondered offhandedly if green was her favourite colour. She turned her head to look into the sapphire eyes of her younger sister, returning her smile and ruffling her pink hair for a moment.

"It's nothing Serah. So long as you don't feel like I'm pushing you away or something…"

Serah swallowed a lump in her throat nervously as her sister got up from the couch and stretched. Seeing Lightning dressed casually in a white dress shirt and black jeans, Serah felt an incredible urge to hug her vulnerable figure.

"Well… Claire, I do worry a little about you. You don't seem to interact much with others, and I just want you to be happy…" Serah thought guiltily about her own close circle of friends at school, and the burgeoning something between her and this new guy she met at the beach. _Snow…_

Lightning's mind wandered automatically to her mentor at work. What was it that they shared? An unspoken understanding of each other? A truce that they had gotten past each other's barriers and would advance no more? An intangible trust that they would not share with anyone else? Something was subtly shifting nowadays. Jayce had always appreciated Lightning's insight and advice while on missions, but recently her remarks seemed to have been unwelcomed. Lightning was becoming more reticent and falling to her old ways as a result. Lightning told herself that she did not need this. Her heart was getting heavy around Jayce's negativity, and this made her dread going to work a little. _I have to work for Serah… Nothing else supposed to matter. As long as my family is with me._

Nonetheless, it was undeniable that she was hurt by Jayce's changing attitude. _Or was it because I have changed?_ She came to a realization that perhaps being too honest and blunt was not something everyone could handle. While she advocated getting her opinions out in the open with Jayce so that emotions would not come in the way of their work, she was starting to wonder if the same frankness was causing a rift between them. Jayce's harsh critique of Lightning's work was much appreciated to help her improve at first, but lately Lightning found herself caring too much about Jayce's approval. Likewise, she could not ignore how Jayce seemed to flinch and narrow her eyes slightly when Lightning did not agree with her instructions.

Lightning looked down at Serah now, noting how the young girl seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. Her lips quirked bitterly. She knew that Serah had her own life that did not revolve around her sister. That's what Lightning wished for, wasn't it? She should not begrudge her sister for finding her own happiness. She would not.

She tried. Lightning did. She tried to open up a little and was starting to find doors slamming in her face. Perhaps she should not have made that small effort. Perhaps she was destined to become stronger alone. Always on the outside, looking in.

After all, she was Lightning. And Claire was buried six feet under with her parents a long time ago…


	4. In your Face

_Thank you for your kind reviews, OerbaFarron, VideoGameHor and kurati. Your encouragement really made my day and I hope that more people will voice out their thoughts. I'll really like to keep this story going :) If you like my writing style, do drop a shout-out as well._

_I have stuck to most of the original dialogue in this story as they were so perfect to me. As a side-note, if you all have not noticed, all chapter titles start with I.F. The main theme of this tale is really about "what ifs". I haven't gotten to it yet, but patience please._

_Taylor Swift songs will influence this story heavily. To me, I think she will make a very fine writer as well with the lyrics and stories that she sings about._

**

* * *

**

**IV. In your Face**

_This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home  
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew  
I was enchanted to meet you_

_Please don't be in love with someone else  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you_

* * *

Fang was intrigued by the young, pink-haired beauty. Young? Darn, she had to stop feeling like she was old all the time. A frozen five hundred years did not count as time gone by. A lifetime of war and strife probably did.

But the woman before her seemed older beyond her years. An old soul, or one that's afraid of living. Fang grinned to herself. The former she could not do anything about, but she sure could show 'er a few things to rectify the latter.

Azure eyes cut towards her quizzically, an eyebrow rose in irritation as if to retort _"What?"_ Fang snorted. This woman was undisputedly rigid! Fang had her style pegged the moment she laid eyes on her. While she was upside down, that is. And she had that lumbering oaf called Snow to thank for it.

Snow had surprised her with his skills on his Eidolon. Kinky and lacking in taste as it was to her, he demonstrated great finesse in driving Stiria and Nix, spiraling relentlessly and hurtling at breakneck speeds to get to the pink-haired one and the silver-haired one. She shuddered at the recollection. Talk about manhandling… riding a bike that was a transformation of two nymphs? She still felt a little nauseous and she wasn't certain it could all be attributed to the adrenaline fix.

The party had to split up to divert the attention of the attacking soldiers, and she felt an inexplicable pull as her legs prowled quickly after the fair-skinned one. She had heard Snow calling her _"Sis!"_ and noted with immense amusement that the recipient's face had scrunched up, as if she had come into contact with something rather vile and disgusting. Not quite wearing her heart on her sleeve, but certainly easy to read her emotions, that one.

_So she called herself Lightning_, Fang observed speculatively, _but she might as well call herself Rage… or Reckless… or Violence Incarnate, or… hey wait, now that's just plain Scary, woman…_

Fang shook her head and rolled her eyes as the bodies of knocked out Guardian Corp soldiers flew left and right past her. She had to stoop low to avoid being collateral damage. Lightning's fury was impressive, and Fang wondered if the word stealth ever existed in her dictionary.

As she finally caught up with her, she was greeted with a curt demand of "Who are you?" Suddenly a tad shy as she gazed at Lightning's beguiling blue eyes, she rubbed the back of her neck out of nervous habit and gave a small grimace. "Where do I start?" she drawled, stalling for time.

Actually all she really wanted to say at that moment was "Enchantée gorgeous, it was enchanting to meet you…" And her sentiments hardly wavered, even after she was promptly and calmly backhanded by the woman who now knew what her deal was. Oerba Yun Fang fell hard that day. Not that she noticed at the time.

* * *

Lightning did not know what to make of the Pulsian warrior standing proud before her, her arms gesturing agitatedly, palms wide.

"I'll tear down the sky if it'll save her!"

She was quite taken aback by this unabashed declaration. She felt a turmoil of emotions – confusion and anger and empathy all churning inside of her. It was burning her inside out, making her want to retch in desperation. Her head spun and she was sorely tempted to sit down.

This woman within her arm's reach was the reason why Serah had turned to crystal. Why her beautiful angel, her life's meaning, had ceased to breathe and was encased in a glass tomb for all of eternity. She yearned to strike at Fang again. And yet Fang's similar tale of helplessness in protecting her loved one struck at her heart, struck at her soul. She wanted to laugh maniacally at the bitter irony. She wanted to scream at the injustice of it all. Most of all, she wanted Serah back in her embrace.

Lightning breathed deeply to calm herself down and concentrated on walking ahead. It was all she could do. The alternative was to throw herself off the precipice right now, and she was loathed to do it without bringing the guilty ones down with her in flames.

While she was lost in her introspection, she vaguely heard Fang at her side asking something about Vanille's brand. She shook her head negatively, hardly comprehending the question. All of a sudden, Fang was in her face, invading her well guarded personal space. Lightning stared blankly into her emerald eyes, not quite aware of what was happening. She felt the zipper of her turtleneck pulled down. She felt Serah's gift of a lightning bolt pendant on her bare collarbone, burning like a white-hot brand on her skin. The warm scent of her Pulsian companion wafted through her, the slight muskiness and tanginess of an ocean's breeze. Lightning inhaled greedily, reminded of Bodhum's seaside, reminded of home, where Serah was. She fought back the sting in her eyes and forced herself back to the present.

"Don't be shy." Fang coaxed while she checked out Lightning's l'Cie brand located inconveniently over her breastbone. "Nowhere near. You got time till Cie'th city." Fang continued to bore her gaze into Lightning, searching the stormy blue eyes curiously for an interpretation to the flicker of emotion she had caught. Lightning's visage remained stony as she stepped backwards. Fang shrugged and nonchalantly continued her ramblings, presumably about rescuing her Vanille.

Lightning turned away. "So that's your plan? I wish I had one. Without Serah, without a future, there's nothing to plan for. There's no way out of this mess, and no way to fight it… With nothing to fight for, I might as well be dead."

Fang felt a sympathetic pang for the broken soldier before her. She pushed herself off the wall from the shadows and stepped into the light. "Your sister. You have plenty to fight for, think about it. Don't you want to see Serah, after she wakes up? That's your future right there. All you've gotta do is survive. It's simple!"

Lightning felt a tinge of hope. She wanted to believe the Pulsian warrior. If Fang could emerge out of crystal stasis and stand before her now with so much vitality, she had to have faith that Serah would pull through for her. She wanted so much to believe, it hurt.

She would gladly lay down her life for Serah. The world could perish and the sky could collapse if that was what it took. If that was within her power to do so.

_It's not a question of can or can't. Some things in life, you just do._ It's time to take her own advice to heart.


	5. Invigorating Fight

A/N: Hmm... somehow I don't think this story is popular. Might be the length and seriousness of it. But I blame it on Taylor Swift, haha  
Anyhow, thank you readers if you happen to drop by out of curiosity. My next chapter is quite challenging for me, so I may not update in a while, need to sort my thoughts out :)  
In the meantime, good reviews, bad reviews, bring it on! That's how I can improve, right?

* * *

******V. Invigorating Fight**

I'm not afraid  
Long live all the mountains we moved  
I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you  
I was screaming, "long live the look on your face"  
And bring on all the pretenders  
One day we will be remembered

* * *

"Fang, wait up! The rest are still stuck in Atomos and he barreled off again!" Lightning skipped lightly over the slippery rocks after the sari-clad warrior.

"I'm gonna take point, Light. Ya gonna catch up or what? Since when did the formidable Sergeant Farron show concern for her companions, hmm? They'll be fine!" Fang's teasing voice echoed in the dark caverns of Sulyya Springs. Despite her playful tone, she came to a standstill near the base of a waterfall, ears perked up to catch the sounds of Lightning's approach.

Lightning huffed and mumbled something under her breath about letting Bahamut rip someone to pieces.

"Say what, Sunshine? You can't be serious, you were so eager to protect me from my pet dragon back in the Fifth Ark." Fang turned around to give Lightning one of her trademark taunting grins.

"Shut up, Fang!" Lightning crossed her arms irritably. Their constant verbal sparring had become quite the topic of speculation within the party. Their imperturbable leader had become such a pushover when it came down to Fang's daily antics. If it were anyone else, Lightning would not have hesitated to flourish her legendary right hook. Snow was a living testament to her vicious temper.

Fang's beam did not fade from her face as she turned her attention to survey their location, balancing her light blue Gae Bolg across her shoulders. Lightning unsheathed her black and gold Axis blade and assumed an alert stance as well, glacial blue eyes scanning the area for any suspicious movements.

Light rays filtered down through the cracks in the roof, illuminating the patch of water haven. The bio-luminescent plants that lined the waterfront gave the caverns an innocent, ethereal green glow. But Fang was all too aware that the Fal'cie Bismarck guarded the springs and preyed on unsuspecting intruders. _Just have to make sure our fearless leader don't venture too close to the water's edge,_ she thought to herself as she trailed leisurely after her favourite pink hair lady.

Just as Lightning tensed at Fang's obvious intention to breach her personal space again, there was a sudden explosion of noise surrounding them. Fang and Lightning instinctively backed up against each other, weapons at the ready while shifting their paradigms into Commando mode.

"Got your back, Light!" Fang assured her as she twirled her lance to face the purple ambush awaiting. Lightning only grunted, her mind already sizing up the enemies and strategizing a way out danger. A small population of Ceratoraptors, Ceratosaurs and Orobons were closing in on the duo, ready to charge them for disturbing the peace of their habitat.

Fang and Lightning burst into action at the same time. Lightning back flipped into the air to rain a shower of bullets into a group of incensed Ceratoraptors squeaking in pain. She used the momentum of her graceful landing and swept her powerful legs out, catching some other Ceratosaurs by surprise. Her maroon cape swished aesthetically behind her in time with her movements, as she unfolded her blade with a dexterous flick of her hand, and promptly buried it into a nearby, hapless foe. Fang admired Lightning's blitzkrieg attack surreptitiously from her peripheral vision and launched her own wave of offensive at the Orobons in front of her. Every powerful thrust and sweeping motions of her lance assailed her opponents mercilessly and pushed them back to huddle agitatedly in a corner. Her royal blue and silver robes whipped about as she pranced into the air to strike down effortlessly on the group.

Fang marveled at the clairvoyant chemistry she and Lightning possessed in combat together. As if by telepathy, they intuitively knew to cover each other's blindside in the heat of a battle. Even now, they were shifting paradigms wordlessly, sometimes charging cure spells for each other, other times unleashing offensive spells on the same group of enemies to stagger them. Lightning timed her elemental spells well, and Fang instinctively switched to sabotage mode to lower their adversaries' resistance to magic. They complemented each other like night and day, dancing and side-stepping around each other in such a familiar manner, as if they had known each other for a lifetime. One of the Ceratoraptors began a chant of Courtship Dance to summon more of their kind, and Fang was tempted to start a similar one with Lightning. Regretfully, Lightning broke her out of her reverie by making short work of the offending Ceratoraptor in mid-chant.

As the battle raged on, Fang was beginning to take notice of Lightning's flushed face, amongst other things. Her sapphire eyes lighted up with ardor and there was an intense fire in her gaze as it made contact with Fang's wonderstruck eyes. The battle lust was evident, and so was Lightning's vim and vigour as she twisted and pirouetted in the air, unleashing her Army of One. Fang's jaw dropped open in awe as a sweet and dazzling smile graced Lightning's features when she acknowledged Fang watching her.

In that split second of distraction, the last group of Ceratosaurs pounced on Fang at once.

"Fang! No!" Lightning's panicked cry pierced the still air. Fang felt the darkness closing in as the shadows of her enemies blocked out the light. She gathered her wits quickly and twirled her lance protectively above her head while crouching low. Bracing herself for impact, she bent her knees close to the ground and took a deep breath. As soon as the creatures landed heavily on her lance, she heaved and launched her sandal-clad feet off the ground, a wild battle cry ripped from her throat as she toppled her opponents. Riding on her momentum, she spun in the air and let loose a feral growl, discharging her devastating Highwind attack and easily dispatching the staggered enemies below.

The silence after the climatic end of the battle was deafening. Fang slowly straightened herself and leant exhaustedly against her lance that was still embedded inches into the ground. Lightning sauntered towards her and watched her with a bemused expression on her face. Her cobalt eyes were still shining mysteriously with an unusual emotion that had nothing to do with her battle high.

"What, something on my face, luv?" Fang gave her a self-deprecating grin. Lightning took another step closer, and Fang could see her shoulders trembling slightly. She cocked her head to the side in confusion, and grew more alarmed as she saw Lightning sucked in her left cheek and bit down on it gently, looking like she was trying to smother something bubbling out of her.

"Lightning Farron! Are you laughing at me? Ya kidding me right?" Fang was incredulous. Sergeant Farron laughing? Oh Maker, Cocoon must be falling on their heads right now!

The pink hair soldier could no longer hold it in. Fang was treated to the most wondrous sound of Lightning's pealing laughter, the best symphony she had ever heard on Gran Pulse. Her own grin grew wider and wider, white teeth flashing as she joined Lightning in her mirthful release.

"Fang! You're a sight, drenched from head to toe with the Ceratoraptors' Strange Fluid!"

Fang pulled at the goo plastered to her raven hair in distress, and made a face of mock horror, triggering a fresh onset of laughter from the Cocoon native. Without thinking, Lightning stepped into the taller Pulsian's embrace, burying her smiling face against Fang's neck while her arms relaxed at her sides. Fang's jade eyes widened in amazement at this rare display of affection from the unflappable soldier. She slowly and tentatively wrapped her arms around Lightning's shoulders, pulling her closer and savouring the feel of tendrils of hair tickling her forearms.

Lightning did not object. She closed her eyes and basked in the warmth, all the while breathing in deep Fang's scent that reminded her of the ocean again. She did not understand it, she felt like she was home in Fang's arms. They fit together easily like puzzle pieces.

Fang threaded her fingers through the soft hair at the back of Lightning's head, for once at a loss for words. She rested her chin on top of the shorter woman's head and felt enveloped by a soft mist of floral fragrance. She never wanted this moment to end. If she had to become Ragnarok one day and strike Cocoon out of the sky, she wanted to burn this image into the back of her mind, as her source of redemption, her last vestiges of humanity.


	6. Interfering Flashbacks

**A/N: **Work's been hectic, and I couldn't get the mood of this chapter right. Been re-writing it a couple of times, causing me much grief. Again, have to thank OerbaFarron, Swampert, Linka, Valagil and hel for dropping their words of encouragement. If you like this chapter, then its for you :) If not, oh well, I'll keep trying!

**

* * *

**

**VI. Interfering Flashbacks**

_At the top of Taejin's Tower, they were finally here. Within breathing distance of Fang's and Vanille's birthplace. Lightning could sense the tension and anticipation rolling off her two Pulsian friends. The uncertainty was killing them, and she wondered if Vanille would choose to run away rather than to face it. The young girl was trying to hide her unease under false bravado, reminiscing about Oerba to the others like it would still be exactly as it was in her memory. Yet, the fates were cruel, reality was brutal. Nothing could brace them for the sight of their desolate, forgotten village, buried under layers upon layers of crystal dust. Vanille had been inconsolable, sliding weakly down to her knees and sobbing her heart out for her hometown, now devoid of life and colour. The others had led her aside, to give Fang some space._

_Fang had stared into the distance with dry eyes. Lightning did not know whether she was bottling things up or was too traumatized to react. Standing behind her and watching her proud, erect frame, Lightning could not help but reach out and tentatively brushed her fingertips across Fang's tattooed arm, in a soothing caress. Fang just turned her head slightly and gave her a pained smile. Not knowing what else to do or say, Lightning burrowed her head of pink curls into Fang's shoulder blades. Fang had exhaled softly and had relaxed her stiff shoulders in gratitude and solace._

"_There's no going back." Lightning breathed._

"_You don't think I know that?"_

_Lightning had a glimpse of Fang's world that day, exploring all the houses that were theirs, photos and plush toys that held nostalgia of their yesteryears. Lightning stood shoulder to shoulder with Fang at the shores of the inland sea, wrapped in surreal disbelief. Everything was just so white and intense. From the piercing sunlight, to the glittering reflection of the water and further stretching out to the alabaster crystal sands in the horizon. The washed out landscape dazzled Lightning with its tragic beauty and heartrendering timelessness. Yet Fang was painting this achromatic environment with colour, regaling animatedly to Lightning the opulence and iridescence of the Oerba she knew._

_Suddenly it made sense to her, how she and Fang were one and the same. Or rather, their starting points had been the same. The orphanage that Fang and Vanille grew up with, how Vanille meant the world to her, how she grew older beyond her years due to circumstances. However, she and Fang were eventually shaped in different ways that resulted in their personalities today. Though Fang never knew her parents, she was never alone and was constantly surrounded by the love of her fellow villagers, enduring hardships together. That was where her sunny disposition had sprung from, her confident and easy going nature. Lightning on the other hand knew love, but was savagely torn from that warmth and left abandoned in the cold. No one had reached out to her, and she had then stubbornly turned her back to the world as well._

_Well, no one had tried to reach out to her except for Corporal Jayce Oaks, Lightning mused. Jayce had her own demons to fight. She had wanted out of the military, but something in her life had let her down, shattered her dreams. Left her feeling bound and trapped. She had then perceived Lightning's achievements with a tinge of jealousy and bitterness. All the more so when the young and capable soldier rose in ranks faster than she did. Lightning had cut herself off from her former mentor. She did not care for people who could not make up their minds to be her friend or not, to hate her or not. Life's failures cannot be blamed on others, you just have to suck it up and move on. Lightning did not need the poison of Jayce's negativity to inflict her with more suffering._

_Fang was different. Fang understood her. She did not judge nor question her past. There was a strong sense of affinity and loyalty, like she wouldn't give up on Lightning no matter what. Like she would always come back to her. Was that why she always felt at peace with Fang?_

_Standing here at the water's edge watching Fang now, Lightning's heart exploded in a quiet riot as she realized with a jolt that she had finally found someone special in her life. Yet fear crept in and sent slivers of cold down her spine. What if the feelings faded away? What if she lost whatever she held dear once again?_

* * *

Captain Lightning Farron finally lifted her tired eyes from the screen monitor, pinching the bridge of her nose as she did so. She had been lost in her contemplations of the past again, and was not surprised to see that it was already dark outside. But she was still at her desk, in her office. She gave a cursory glance to the wall clock. It was past ten.

She got out of her leather seat and stretched, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. She had left a table lamp on at the corner of her huge mahogany desk, but its weak orange glow hardly provided sufficient illumination. Her stereo was playing music softly in the background.

As she walked towards the floor-to-ceiling windows which covered the entire one side of her office, she noted that the rest of the department was empty. As usual, she was the last to leave, but that could not be helped. She was consumed by a raging obsession to finish this project. Her days had been filled with rebuilding Oerba, protecting its citizens from aggressive Pulsian wildlife and this…

The Oerban Guardian Corps office occupied the top of a towering building in New Oerba City. The very same Oerba Village of Gran Pulse that had been rebuilt. Not quite a metropolis yet, but the size and density of it could rival major cities on Cocoon. From her office windows, Lightning had a direct view of Cocoon and her preoccupation for the past three years.

_Cocoon still looks so beautiful at night_, she thought to herself as she rested her feverish forehead on the cool glass of the window panes. The crystalline structure holding it up and encircling it gave the Fal'Cie-made planet an unearthly white glow. Like a fragile and ornate wine-glass with a flowing stem. Or as her imaginary Fang would say, _"Looks more like a cracked, boiled egg in an egg cup, honey…"_ She smiled achingly. It looked like another of those long nights for Lightning to get through.

_And I can't, Breathe…_  
_Without you, But I have to,_  
_Breathe… Without you,_  
_But I have to._

The husky voice floating out of the stereo further accentuated her feelings of yearning. Her finger on the window gently traced the contours of the other blue-green structure glowing next to Cocoon's crystal pillar. It was almost complete. Shaped like a palm to gently cradle Cocoon's base, it looked ironically like the human swirling the wine-glass that was Cocoon. After generations of living in Fal'Cie lies, Cocoon's future finally rested in the hands of its human population.

Constructed out of Adamantite and Trapezohedron, it was engineered by Lightning and her former l'cie allies. Lightning and Bartholomew had then rallied Cocoon's citizens to erect this indestructible architecture that would keep Cocoon floating in the sky forever. It was a labour of love that was so painstaking. Due to the rarity of the materials required, Snow and Sazh had to devise a way to harvest them from Adamantoises without inadvertently causing their extinction and bringing on Titan's wrath.

_This one's my gift for you… A chance for you to escape your current Focus. You don't have to keep your promise to save Cocoon anymore… please, wake up…_

_It's two a.m._  
_Feelin' like I just lost a friend._  
_Hope you know it's not easy,_  
_Easy for me._

If she stared hard enough, she could imagine the two crystalline figures trapped within the mesh of glass, entombed in an eternal embrace. She was not the only one who had a high emotional stake in this last-ditch, desperate attempt. All of the former l'cies wanted their comrades back.

Hope had confided, "Light, I miss them everyday. Vanille showed me what it was to keep promises, and to live without regrets. I'd like to see her again one day, let her see for herself who I've become. A chance to thank her properly."

_And we know it's never simple, never easy._  
_Never a clean break, no one here to save me._

Lightning wanted them back too, badly. Every day that she stood in the crystal sands of their former homes, she was reminded of what she had found that day and lost.


	7. Insomniac Frenzy

_**A/N: **On a roll! You don't know how hyper I get when I see more reviews for my story. It means I'm doing something right, right? Haha..._  
_Ohhh... and everyone wants the Pulsians back in action! What's it gonna be? I'm not gonna spoil anyone, it could go either way you know :)_  
_And yes, like everyone else, when I finished the game and saw Fang back on Gran Pulse (using her as the Leader) after all the credits roll, I had the wrong impression and went "Yay! Fang's alive!" at first, before being horribly let down. Heh._

Taylor Swift's "Innocent" is the theme for this unusually long chapter. Read and review folks, and I thank the usual suspects for keeping up with the story. Your support keeps my writing inspiration alive!

**

* * *

**

**VII. Insomniac Frenzy**

_It was Lightning's weekend ritual, to be sitting out here in the setting sun in her pristine white uniform, spending time with her imaginary friend without a care in the world. This had been her familiar routine for the past years, and she couldn't remember how it had started._

_She sat in comfortable silence with "Fang", idly swinging her long legs over the cliff and letting the breeze gently caress her face. It didn't seem awkward or strange that they could just while away the time without speaking. Perhaps it was because all this was just in her mind. But she did recall on their journeys together, Fang was someone that she didn't feel the need to impress or to think aloud just to fill in the absence of conversation._

"_Ever thought about the future, Light?" _Fang_ spoke._

_Lightning snorted. This was not the first time she was asked that question. And yet, every time she had no real answer to give._

"_No, Fang, no. I don't feel the need to think anymore. Before, it was all about Serah. Later, it was about how to get her back. Then much later, it was all about how to get you back. What's the point in thinking, and planning, when all the thinking and planning won't do you much good? When you basically don't have a future, not while something is missing in your life right now?"_

Fang_ shifted and examined her lance thoughtfully. "Typical non-committal answer from you, Light. It's true that we were running so hard back then that we didn't give a rat's ass about what we were chasing or losing. I never had a doubt that I would save Vanille. I couldn't let myself falter. And it's just so whimsical to think about what-ifs after Orphan, eh? But sometimes I do let myself wonder though, and in all my wonderings, you were a part of my future…"_

_Lightning sighed. Sometimes, talking to yourself in your mind like this, you just voice your inner desires in an endless cycle, with no relief or resolution. Well, it sure beats talking about all this to a military shrink and being subjected to interpretations and speculations, when all you really wanted to do was just talk, that's all._

"_Yeah, Fang, sure… Just like I'd never imagine I would lose you when you were supposed to be part of my future too. But shit happens in life that we have no control over. So like I said, it's pointless."_

"_Right. So how come you went and built that ugly ass structure over there next to my place of slumber?"_

_Lightning laughed. "That's not called planning Fang… Think of it as a kind of security for the future, my message to you on a wing and a prayer. I don't plan doesn't mean I don't fight, Fang. I'm fighting every day for you to be back in my life, I hope you can see that."_

Fang_ turned her beautiful viridian gaze to Lightning somberly. "And that's why I'm telling you Light, to start thinking the what-ifs darling. Including the what if I never woke up in your lifetime."_

_

* * *

_

_I guess you really did it this time_  
_Left yourself in your warpath_  
_Lost your balance on a tightrope_  
_Lost your mind tryin' to get it back_

Lightning stood defiantly at the balcony of her Bodhum beach house in her usual sleep attire of an oversized light blue silk shirt and black shorts. Her hands gripped the wooden railings till her knuckles went white as she absorbed the tension and power of an oncoming storm.

Grey thunderclouds were rolling in from a distance, as her namesake flashed across the sky at intervals. Howling winds lashed ominously across the beach, making the palm trees bend and sway in a frenzied dance with nature. The frothy waves crashing upon the shore were reflected in the turbulent swirls of her cerulean eyes. A slight drizzle had started, and the atmosphere was positively electrified.

Yet the pink haired soldier stood resolutely in the darkening night, unaffected by the onset of the tempest. Chaos reigned within her with a magnitude that more than rivaled the outside squall. Many nights she had stood here till dawn, losing sleep over her inner restlessness.

Yes, she burned from within. No words could describe the unease and emptiness inside of her. Nothing could fill the gaping holes, nothing could soothe her unnamed suffering. Sometimes she could not identify what was eating her alive. Every night she felt like she was trapped in a strait jacket, struggling and struggling with herself, fending off her faceless inner demons. No one could save her.

She had lost sleep before, working on the project that she had believed would free Fang and Vanille. When she toiled at her work, she had a focus. She went sleepless, because she had something to accomplish.

However, the work was done. She had completed all that she could. The waiting game began. The scientists and researchers had set to work analyzing the crystal structure that Ragnarok had created, scanning with their lasers and advanced technology equipment for signs of life within. She had joined them on occasions, helping with the excavation works, wishing that she could feel a tangible tether of something with someone within. Days had turned into weeks, weeks into months. Everyone had noted the visible change in Lightning. Purple bruises were starting to form under her eyes, her once lively blue gaze had lost some spark. In its place was a wild and empty expression, a kind of agitation that she displayed when she constantly ran her fingers through her light pink tresses.

Lightning knew that her life once held meaning in the work that she excelled and took pride in, in her care for Serah's well-being. At that time, she could see herself doing the same things forever and she would still be satisfied. She was at peace with herself, knowing she had a purpose to waking up every morning. Now it just seemed so pointless. Serah had Snow to take care of her. They were going to start a family soon. As much as Lightning was excited by the prospect of having a nephew or niece, it was not _hers_. It was not something that belonged to or meant for her and her alone.

Without noticing, she was slowly becoming detached. Her social circle shrank at an alarming rate, her contact with her l'cie family and Serah dwindled to a visit every few weeks. Work did not fulfill her, yet she clung on to the disciplined life of the military to keep herself sane and within her comfort zone. She no longer worked late, she could not concentrate. But she would come home early to seclude herself with her thoughts in the quiet of her abode.

Her chronic insomnia could also be attributed to the awareness of her own mortality. Her youth and vitality would slip away, and she was afraid, afraid of not finding anyone else like Fang again. What had she accomplished then? She cursed herself for all the words left unspoken, and feared she had forever lost the opportunity to let Fang know how important she was to her.

Recently, her weekend chats with her imaginary Fang were further acerbating her freefall into despair. Was her inner consciousness trying to convince her that Fang might not wake up? No! She refused to even go down that path!

Lightning paced the length of her balcony now, feeling herself becoming undone. She was at her breaking point, she knew. She needed to get out.

Not heeding the warning flashes of the storm, she raced out with her bare feet to her velocycle. There was only one place she wanted to go.

"Faaaaaanng!" Lightning screamed out over the cliffs against the roar of the winds. She was gradually getting soaked in the drizzle, but she couldn't care less. "Fang, come here, please!"

The translucent mist became more opaque, and the familiar, heart-wrenching figure stepped out into the rain.

"Light! What's wrong? Has something happened? You're getting drenched!" Her face was so endearing, concern written all over her furrowed brows.

Lightning's breathing started to calm a little, but her heart still maintained its restless, rapid tattoo against her chest. She had come out here on a compulsive, reckless whim. Lightning wanted an end to this.

"Fang…" She stepped closer, trying to remember every contour and nuance of the exotic beauty before her. Trying to burn her image into the back of her mind. Her hand rose up involuntarily, as if to caress the cheek of the Pulsian warrior, stopping short a distance away. The emerald gaze widened in alarm and confusion, her tanned arm raised as if to hold Lightning's palm.

"Fang, I don't know what to do anymore… how to bring you back…" Her voice cracked. "I-I c-can't breathe without you, tell me, what else can I do? Tell me!"

_Fang_ looked at her sadly, wordlessly.

"No, no… I can't do this…" Lightning's face crumpled, her emotional dam breaking. Not once had she allowed herself this moment of weakness, not even when in Eden she had watched with excruciating pain as Fang floated away from her to Vanille. The look in Fang's jade eyes then, pleading for her understanding, saying goodbye silently. It haunted her, haunted her endlessly till now. Hot tears spilled out unbidden from her cobalt eyes, tears of rage, frustration and finality. She gulped down her breaths, knees buckling as she collapsed ungracefully onto the desert floor.

"Light, Light!" _Fang_ called urgently over the raging storm as she bent down on her knees, her hand hovering over Lightning's shoulder. "Light, ya gotta keep it together! Look, even if I'm trapped in this eternal slumber, you've gotta move on with your life! You have to! For me! Don't lose it now…"

Lightning turned her tear-stained face to her personal torment, the rain mixed with the saltwater running down her cheeks. "F-fang, t-that's why I'm here…"

She was trying to hold it back in again, wheezing and sobbing as she pushed herself slowly to her feet. She was not even aware that the high-pitched keening in the air had come from her throat.

"F-fang, this is me, s-standing here, t-telling you that I can't go on like this. I cannot put my life on hold, pining and waiting for you to wake up. I-It's killing me inside! I need… n-no… I-I don't know what I need anymore. I just want this pain to stop! I-I'm sorry Fang. I gotta do this. I have to come here and say goodbye. I know you're not real. This e-ends here, r-right now… This is goodbye."

Lightning stumbled as she turned her back on _Fang_'s devastated face, tripping over herself as she made her way back to her velocycle. She was howling, she knew. She couldn't help it.

"LIGHT! What am I to you really? Am I your personal drug, your crutch in life, purely your imagination?"

Lightning whirled around in anger, eyes flashing.

"NOO! How dare you!" Thunder rumbled at her fury. "You were my best friend, my dark knight, my equal in everything and so much more! You were my other half, my _**soul-mate**_, my once in a lifetime chance at happiness. You complete me! I don't ever want you to become my regret, my pain, my sorrow. That's why I'm leaving, leaving with all the happy memories we had while I still can. I'm sorry I couldn't say it when I had the chance to. Goodbye Fang, I will miss you."

Lightning turned around one last time and walked away.

* * *

_Lives change like the weather  
I hope you'd remember  
Today is never too late  
To be brand new_

_Fang stood quietly in the thunderstorm. If she had any tears, she would be bawling herself out. If she even had her heart, she would have heard it shatter into a million crystal pieces. She watched as Lightning got into her velocycle and exited out of her life. Forever…_

_Turning around, she stepped off the cliff into a blaze of white light. She floated in the white nothingness, lifting her knees and curling herself into a fetal position._

"_Vanille…" She whimpered. "She really said it this time. She said goodbye… For all her intelligence in her pretty pink head, she never figured out why she could only see me out near Cocoon…"_

_There was a small disturbance as a red-haired young girl stepped into the white space out of nowhere._

"_Fang…" Vanille sighed. "This was what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted her to move on, knowing we might be stuck here a while."_

"_I-I never imagined it would be so painful. Etro, but it hurts! I thought I could live with it, she only saw me as her friend… She was fighting so hard to get us back. She was becoming an empty shell because of that... all the sleepless night, endless waiting and self-doubt. I didn't want her to keep fighting anymore…"_

_Vanille stomped her left foot in frustration. "Fang! You're close to me like my sister and all, but HONESTLY! Your skull can be as dense as a King Behemoth's hide! Which part of 'I can't breathe without you' is not as powerful as 'I love you'? Light doesn't treat you as just her friend, you're her life!"_

_Fang raised her confused gaze to Vanille. The fierce determination on the young girl's face seemed to hammer in the truth of her words. Slowly, her viridian eyes began to clear and took on a different kind of fire. She clenched her teeth thoughtfully._

"_Vanille, I want to see them again. I don't need an eternity to think over it. I'd gladly give up my immortality if it means I can spend the rest of my days with her."_

"_That's the spirit!" Vanille punched the air in encouragement._

"_Guess that's all I needed to break out of this curse eh? As long as she needs me. What say you that we unleash hell on Anima?"_

"_Yep! Right with you! Thought you'd never ask…"_

_"Wishes can come true if you don't wait for a miracle, right?"_

_"That's right!"_

_"Come on then! Servin' a miracle right up, Gran Pulse style!"_


	8. Live NOW

********

****

A/N:

Haha, I might lose all my readers with my drastic change of writing style. There is a reason to it though (just like there's a reason to everything). Previously, Lightning has gone through her life with a lot of angst and an overall question of "What IF?", hence all the chapters abbreviated to I-F. From here onwards, its really about the NOW, no longer about the future and such. I'm still trying to get to this stage in my life, but I'm still stuck back there in the "What if" stage. A few good friends have been trying to tell me about NOW for some time. Anyone read "The Way of Ping" by Stuart Avery Gold before? _"It is never too late to be what you can become"_. We need strong beliefs to make our lives easier, to sooth the restlessness inside every one of us.

Sooo... the change of perspective calls for a change in Point of View (POV). Add in a dash of humour, some random characters, some OOC-ness (due to her change of course) and AU literally. Again, the random characters are just a representation of Lightning's widening social circle. I would totally understand if you think I have a few screws loose and decided not to review :) But I had fun writing this chapter, it was a relief after all that heartbreak previously. So... on with it!

****************

**

* * *

**

**VIII. Live NOW**

"_When I couldn't see a future and I was afraid. When the future was clear and it hurt to see. I just close my eyes and lose myself in happier days." – Oerba Dia Vanille_

* * *

I didn't know how I got home in my state of mental disarray. The tears continued to stream down my cheeks despite my best attempt to stem the flow. I stumbled upstairs to my room. No, I didn't have a plan, but I needed out. Run and think about it later, I'd never thought I would listen to Vanille's warped logic, but here I am, doing just that.

It was 2:30 AM. No one in their right frame of mind would be awake right now. I'm not in my right frame of mind. I could get away with it. I pulled out my cell phone. Time to cut loose.

Message to Serah. _"I'm sorry, I've got to go. Need some time alone. I'll be fine. Please don't come looking for me. Sorry, really sorry. I'll contact you when I'm ready to. Serah, I love you."_

Message to Snow. _"I'll come back and kill you if you let Serah down in any way."_

Message to Hope. _"Take care of yourself. I'll be gone for some time. Don't worry."_

Message to Amodar. _"I quit."_

Done. Easy.

That's the extent of my social circle really.

I peeled off my sodden shirt and undergarments, haphazardly throwing on another shirt and jeans. Pulling out my duffel, I started to stuff all my non-military clothes into it. Which was not a lot really. My fingers lingered over my uniforms, the hard-earned stripes, the starched fabric. I opened the other closet and took one last look at the prized collection of my gunblades, all diligently polished, holstered and categorically arranged against the wall. Unable to resist, I grabbed the survival knife, the one that Serah gave me on my birthday many years past, and strapped it to my ankle. On my way out, I grabbed my wallet containing all the anonymous credit chips I had stashed away all this time. Clenching my teeth, I walked out of the life that I had trapped myself in. I put on my casual brown leather boots and got into my velocycle again, all my worldly possessions in a duffel bag. Revving up the engine, my foot never eased up on the accelerator until all the tension and burden seeped away from my shoulders.

* * *

It's been a few weeks since I got here. At first, I didn't even know where _here_ was. I hadn't heard of this place, this backwater town in Cocoon. It prided itself on its small population of ten thousand, and the minimal use of technology. Somehow, I was attracted to it. I think it was the cement pavements and timeworn architecture that drew me. A little like Oerba in the days of old. Serendipity.

I had taken to wearing a humongous pair of shades around and a pageboy cap to hide my conspicuous head of pink curls. I rented a single room apartment near the town's only university. After a while, I decided I liked it here. It was peaceful and green, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. In fact, you could hardly hear the electronic whir of velocycles. People actually got around either on foot, or in those diesel-powered four wheels. I was absolutely charmed.

When I arrived, I was an emotional wreck. I had to resolve not to think about the past, to only live a step at a time in the present. Let myself heal and forget. Maybe I could then face the memories more courageously in the future. I wanted to live in anonymity for a time, find my strength back. It's true that when you have nothing left to lose, then you're really free and able to do everything.

Soon, I began to appreciate the mornings, the sunlight, the trees that lined the roads like I used to. I was starting to live a little, my pain numbed a little, and I could get some rest at night. It's funny that when I focused more on the here and now, that my inner restlessness about the future faded a bit. Come what may, _carpe diem._ I knew I needed to find some anchor in my life if I were to ever find peace with myself.

* * *

Today, I decided I would check out the local university. One of the things I missed out in life was getting a proper education in a normal environment. Like Serah did. I was curious and had nothing on my schedule anyway.

Entering the Registrar's Office, a bespectacled lady with a kind smile looked up at me.

"Hi… err… I kinda moved here recently. Any chance that I'm in time to register myself as a student here?"

"Well, well! Welcome to the town of Archadia then! Needless to say, the Archadian University's doors are opened to you. AU for short, by the way. Term doesn't start in a few days, so you are definitely in luck. Just fill up these forms and I'll see which classes I can fit you in. I'll ask one of the students to give you an orientation once you're done!"

I couldn't help but return the contagious smile of the amiable lady. She's quite pretty actually, with her neat blond hair pinned up behind her head and long fringes framing her heart-shaped face. She held out a hand to me.

"The name's Quistis. I am a student counselor and part-time administrative officer here. How do I address you?"

I hesitated and took her proffered hand with a gentle shake of mine. "Call me Claire."

"Right, Claire. You just take your time with these. I'll be back in a while."

I took off my shades to get a closer look at the forms. _Name… hmm…_

_Claire Yun Tonnerre, _I wrote.

I smiled. Switching Lightning for Thunder. I wouldn't be tracked down to here if I could help it.

I bit my lip in concentration and fibbed my way through the rest of the personal information. _Age? Technically twenty-five, but if I counted a day in crystal stasis… maybe I'll just put down twenty-three…_ Filling in the forms was a breeze, until I came to the courses I would like to sign up for.

I frowned down at the paper for a while, tapping the pen thoughtfully on my chin. I wondered if they taught Pulsian history and languages here. I decided to write _History, Language and Philosophy_. Why Philosophy? Because I tended to think too much and it wouldn't lead me anywhere with a great job in the future anyway. It sounded like a great subject to channel all my excess mental energies. I could have put in sports or physical education, but I didn't want to give myself away by breaking other people's wrists anytime soon.

Quistis took the forms back and went back to tapping on her monitor. She looked up at me with her blue eyes after a while and gave me a slip of paper.

"Alright Claire, you'll have tonnes of administrative paperwork to plough through later. But for now, please follow the instructions on the paper and get to this room in the dormitories. Someone will be waiting there to give you an orientation of the campus. Good luck and have fun!"

I nodded and put my shades back on. This should be simple. _Sector 5, Room 101._

* * *

I strode through the campus compounds, taking my time to appreciate the architecture of the buildings. Most of the site was surrounded by high, towering bastions, white spires and stain-glassed windows. Despite the obvious heritage of this place, it was well maintained.

Before long, my keen peripheral vision was telling me that I was being observed and appreciated as well by the student population. I slouched further and pulled my cap down. Hugging my leather messenger sling bag to my front, I was attempting to pass myself off as one of them. In my hurry, I almost tripped over a girl in denim overalls who was stooping by some flowerbeds. I mumbled an apology and continued my way, barely registering the brunette turning to look at me.

Arriving at Sector 5, I easily located Room 101. There was a small name tag to the side of the door. I was having a bit of trouble trying to decipher the flowing script.

"Aeris Gains-whatever…"

"_Aeris Gainsborough_. You must be the new student that Quistis called me about."

I whirled in surprise at the gentle, melodic voice. It was that girl by the flowerbeds!

"Oh, hi, it's you. Sorry about earlier. I'm Claire. Claire Tonnerre."

Aeris looked me over with a dreamy expression. I cocked my head, folded my arms and observed her in turn. Her brown hair was in a thick plaid down to her waist. She had very nice emerald eyes. Not as heavenly as someone I knew though. I shook my head slightly to clear the haunting memory and gave her a tentative smile. Somehow, I felt at ease with her, she didn't feel like a threat. Soldier's instincts.

"Claire… I can't see your face behind those shades. But I get the feeling you're running away from something or someone…"

I watched her frown, like she was trying to sense something off of me. Then she suddenly perked up.

"Oh well, since you're here anyway, I'll show you around. Come on! By the way, I hope you're staying on campus cos' you're bunking in with me."

I felt my mouth quirked up in amusement at her randomness. Aeris was quite a ditz, I wouldn't have guessed from looking at her soft, quiet features. I was looking forward to knowing more about her.

"Sure Aeris, lead on."

* * *

The days passed quite idyllically in AU. I kept my mind busy by studying hard. Time flew by when the mind was preoccupied and no longer searched for truths and contradictions. I had a genuine interest in my courses, especially Pulsian history and study of ancient runes. I felt like I needed to establish a connection to the Oerbans' past. My classmates didn't know about my personal interest and experience though. They didn't know how thrilled I get each time the Yun warrior clan was briefly mentioned in the books.

Aeris had become my new best friend of sorts. She was around my age and I liked her quirkiness and bluntness. Later on, I realized why Quistis paired us up together. Not many people could tolerate her sometimes bizarre behavior. Plus, we shared similar classes together.

Speaking of bizarre behavior, I was sitting at my usual favourite haunt on the sloping rooftops of the dorms. I was enjoying the sun while reading my notes when Aeris called me from behind. I turned and almost freaked out when I saw her swing both arms synchronously and attempted to do standing long jumps across the rooftop pipes to get to me.

_You can't be serious…_

"Aeris! Stop right there! You're going to hurt yourself. I'd go over!" I shouted, preparing to hurl myself after her with my Army of One moves should she trip and fall down the building between the gaps.

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to tell you that Sephy invited me to go out with him tonight! Would you like to join?"

"Sephy? Who the hell is Sephy?" I shook my head in confusion. "You mean Selphie, our philosophy classmate?"

"No, no… Sephy. Sephiroth. He's my boyfriend's half-brother." Aeris pointed down to a black figure standing by the fountains below. The man in a black leather trench coat happened to look up and fix me with a baleful glare. My hand instinctively flexed for my non-existent gunblade. I checked to make sure I still had that reassuring weight of the survival knife around my ankle.

"Right. I didn't know you have a boyfriend, not to mention your boyfriend having a half-brother."

Aeris waved her hand in front of her face dismissively. "Oh, my boyfriend is always off to go save the world. Or go to work. It's all the same. He has some kind of superhero complex, somewhat like you."

"_I do not!_" I snapped, my mind involuntarily thinking about that cape on my uniform and how I would throw myself in harm's way for Serah at any moment. Aeris was always like this, blurting out insightful remarks and catching me by surprise. I half suspected that she faked her frivolous behavior to make people underestimate her when she was really good at Psychology. Which was one of her majors, coincidentally.

I chanced another look down at _Sephy_ and conclusively put him in the _Malicious_ category, together with all the convicts I had dealt with in the past. He looked like the type with a gigantic chip on his shoulder, the size of wings probably.

"Aeris, I really don't think you should go out with that man, he looks dangerous."

"Don't be silly Claire, he wouldn't hurt a fly! A true momma's boy that one."

I rolled my eyes. This wouldn't be the first time that I played Aeris' bodyguard. The girl was completely clueless sometimes.

"Alright, I'll go with you. Just be sure we come back early tonight. There's a test tomorrow and have you done that history essay already?"

"Claire, stop being so naggy. Do you have a younger sister that you usually do that to? You're a natural at it."

I swear… that girl was just pretending to be silly _all_ the time.

* * *

I found myself sitting at the corner of the bar, staring idly at the television screen. Aeris was next to me on the barstool, chatting happily with Sephiroth. As far as I could tell, the conversation was one-sided, with the occasional grunts from the brooding man with his silver hair up in a ponytail. He didn't seem to mind Aeris though, so I relaxed somewhat.

I was feeling slightly disappointed, as if I was itching to get into a sparring match of sorts. It had been too long since I had practiced and I had to admit, I probably had a violent streak in me.

This bar was more homely as compared to LeBreau's establishment on Bodhum's beach. The patrons were less rowdy, and were mostly working executives who had just knocked off and wanted to blow off some steam. No one had tried to chat us up yet, which was already a vast improvement compared to trying to get my drink at LeBreau's.

I had let my hair down tonight and had on a black jacket with turned up collars and black jeans tucked into my ankle boots. My outfit blended better in the dark environment as compared to Aeris' light pink dress. She looked rather nice though, I rather like how the colour complemented her fair skin. Of course, I would look like a horrendous strawberry if I were wearing that dress. Pink colour clashed with my hair, obviously. I noted to myself that for some peculiar reason, I paid undue attention to clothes and fashion since I joined AU. It could be attributed to my entire life of wearing uniforms I guess.

Something caught my attention on the screen. My breath caught as a footage of Cocoon on its crystal pillar was shown. The female reporter seemed to be gesturing frantically in the foreground.

"Tifa, can you turn up the volume please." I spoke to the bartender, making sure that my voice did not shake.

"Sure thing, sweetie."

"_There are many sources claiming that flashes of bright light could be seen from inside the crystal pillar since a few days ago. However, no official news have come from the current government or Cocoon's Guardian Corps regiment. This has sparked rumours that activity from within Ragnarok's crystal may cause the whole thing to collapse. An unnamed source within Eden has claimed that even if that happened, citizens should not panic due to the completion of _L'cie's Cradle_ months ago. The blue-green structure, brainchild of Captain Lightning Farron, would be able to withstand Cocoon's weight should Ragnarok's crystal fall apart. This is Yuffie reporting live from New Oerba City."_

I felt like I was struck by lightning. What did all of this mean? And did they just named that thing "L'cie's Cradle" for Eden's sake? And why didn't they call me the _ex-Captain Farron_ since I went AWOL?

* * *

I did not sleep well that night, pondering in my mind what I should be doing. I was tempted to switch on the cell phone that I hid at the back of my closet to contact Serah. I paced quietly in the dark, trying not to disturb Aeris as she slept. She seemed to be having nightmares herself, clutching her stomach and mumbling in her sleep.

My resolve was starting to waver, and I couldn't have that. What did I tell myself when I wanted a new lease of life? That I had to cut myself loose from the past? I should not be caring what was happening within that crystal. There was no hope left in it, my team had told me they could not detect or see anything in it but frozen, glacial lava. I had to close that chapter in my life or I'll never be able to move on!

_Hold it together girl… it's over, open your eyes and face reality!_

The next morning I asked Aeris if she had a stomachache or something. Her face was pale and she was unusually subdued.

"Don't worry, I had some nightmare that someone stabbed me in the stomach and the world was going to end."

I smirked. "Must be a mixture of yesterday's news on Cocoon's pillar and your _Sephy_'s ominous presence."

"Yeah, I think it was that piece of news." She answered, completely ignoring my snide remark about her boyfriend's half-brother. "By the way, I noticed that your face went even more white after that, even though you're fair skinned and all."

_Damn that perceptive mind of hers…_

Aeris continued nonchalantly, "Yep. That was quite a shocker. I was just thanking Captain Farron in my mind for her foresight. If Ragnarok's crystal collapsed, we're all done for. Imagine, Cocoon falling out of the sky a second time." She shuddered visibly.

I shrugged and put on my large, dark-rimmed glasses. My "geek wear", as Aeris called it. I'll use it when I had lost sleep the previous night, in a vain attempt to hide the dark circles. I pulled my hair up into a side ponytail like Serah's. In fact, my outfit today was unconsciously like Serah's as I was thinking about her the whole of last night, wondering how she was. I had on a sleeveless white shirt left untucked over a light blue tartan skirt. I grimaced and knotted a cream sweater across my shoulders to create some variation to the "Serah look", and tossed on a white beret on my head for good measure.

Aeris watched me curiously but did not comment. I waved goodbye to her hastily, grabbed my textbooks and sling bag and hurried out into the halls. On a whim, I had signed up for a group discussion some days back and I was running late.

Arriving at the room, I realized that the discussion was already underway. Thankfully, there were quite a number of participants, so no one noticed when I slunk into the room quietly. I took a seat at the back, slouching and sliding down in my seat so as not to attract unwanted attention. Another latecomer came in and took the seat next to mine. I looked over and almost slid out of my chair altogether in shock.

"Aeris!" I hissed, scrambling to sit up. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Aeris didn't look surprised to find me here at all. "I'm here to do a study of human behavior. It's part of my interest and vocation." She replied serenely out of the corner of her mouth. "I could ask the same of you."

"I-I'm here to find out something about myself." I mumbled, avoiding her eye contact and feeling heat rushed to my face.

"Fine by me, would you relax?"

I really hadn't expected Aeris here. After all, she just revealed to me that she had a boyfriend the day before. What could she possibly contribute to a LGBT discussion anyway?

As it turned out, both of us were spectators. We didn't speak our views and were content listening to the experience and stories from others. After the session ended, I felt a sort of light hearted relief. I concluded that there wasn't a need to box myself into society's stereotypes. We couldn't help who we were attracted to, it just so happened that the person I was attracted to was a girl. And not just any girl. Only _Oerba "ass-kicking" Fang_ who saved Cocoon. I didn't feel the same way with any others.

"I see that you seemed to have made peace with yourself over something." Aeris observed as she watched me with a small smile. "You were restless this morning."

"Stop scrutinizing me under your microscope Aeris. Let's go grab lunch."

Somehow, I was grateful for Aeris' company. She was my personal healer of sorts. Sometimes in life, people appear for a reason eh? Darn, I was getting too philosophical for my own comfort.

As we made our way to the cafeteria, I heard someone called out.

"Hey Ton-air, wait up!"

I sighed deeply, knowing who it was. Zell was the reason why a lot of guys at school avoided me soon after term started. And no, it was not because they knew I liked a particular girl. He had slung his arm around my shoulders when I hardly knew him, and I had instinctively flipped his heavy frame over like a pancake, quick as a flash. I didn't know why he continued to hang out with us on occasions after that incident. It couldn't have been my charming demeanor. I had to admire his resilience.

"How many times must I tell you, stop making me sound like some floating Tonberry. It's _Ton-nare_ alright?"

Zell was doing it again, slinging his heavy arm around me in a friendly way. I briefly considered heaving him up in the air in my Commando mode.

"Hey Aeris!" He ignored my grouchiness and waved cheerily to Aeris. "Whatever, _Tonnerre…_ You heard about the news yesterday? Crystal's falling apart. Sca-a-ary huh…"

"Yeah? Said your final prayers yet?" This skaterboy reminded me a lot of Snow, sans all the hero bullshit.

"Yeah… I wished that you finally went on a date with me, Tonnerre. So, how 'bout it?"

I rolled my eyes and was about to give him a smart reply when the ground shook beneath our feet and screams punctured the still air.

_What the hell just happened?_


	9. See the Light

**A/N: **Hey folks, thanks for the support of my experimental Chapter 8. Some good review, some not so sure... all appreciated! My thanks go out to all my favourite, constant reviewers, OerbaFarron, hubble, swampert, lala... Thank you Ineffable Sunset too for the note. Oh, and Chelisa1031... though I don't really understand half of your review, you reminded me alot of an energetic Vanille, and I like it... so thanks...?

Again, will like you wonderful readers out there to R&R :)

**

* * *

**

**IX. See the Light**

I slipped in and out of consciousness, willing myself to come awake. There were distant voices, blur images, and an unbearable expanse of white light. I could feel myself heat up, so much so that I must have been in the fiery centre of Bahamut's blast flare. Then I was plunged into freezing depths, feeling the ice cold crystal forming anew over my skin once again. The cycle repeated every so often, while I struggled against my bonds, my focus on breaking out of this crystal prison that was my fate.

I could feel Vanille close by. Sometimes she held my hand and whispered encouraging words to me. Other times she sounded far off and desperate. Was she crying? No, I wouldn't let Vanille cry again, I promised that. But didn't she feel the torture in trying to escape her own crystal walls too?

I was raging wars within myself, pleading with Anima, praying to Etro, bargaining with Titan, believing in Lady Luck and miracles. Anything, I would do anything, just to see her again. Tear down the sky, crumble the crystal pillar, crack Cocoon's shell, blast Orphan out of his watery grave… _Anything…_

_Light…_

* * *

An oppressive burden suddenly lifted from me. Melted away.

I drew in a sharp gasp of air, my lungs coming alive once more, burning and exploding with my first breath of life. My back arched from this sudden and forceful intrusion of the outside elements, everything assaulting my senses at once.

"Fang!"

I heard Vanille's endearing cry. My eyes felt heavy, I couldn't move just yet. I think I moaned in answer, the noise like sawdust grating against my raspy throat.

I did a mental check. Appendages accounted for so far, I'm getting some feeling in my extremities little by little. Memories intact this time? Hell yeah, I remembered a certain strawberry blonde soldier walking out of my life. The pain was still fresh and tingling and raw.

_I'm coming for you woman... ya best be ready when I do._

As awareness slowly seeped in, I heard something out of place.

_Beep, beep, beep…_

_Wha? Machines? The hell's machines doing in our crystal pillar?_

I forced my eyes open a slit. What I saw immediately made my eyelids snapped wide open and I lurched backwards hastily, a snarl curling at the back of my throat.

"_Nabaat!"_ I spat.

My eyes darted around. Vanille was sitting in this coffin like capsule next to mine, her face anxious and fearful. I was lying under the sheets of a similar capsule, with wires taped to every possible pulse points on my body, all leading to this monstrous machine which was making the beeping sound. I ripped the cables attached to my forehead, causing a monitor screen nearby to flatline and siren lights to whir in warning.

_What's this? Hell?_

The white and silver sterile walls with light blue luminous discs were enough to clue me in on where I was. Did we go back in time? _The Narthex._

The dark blonde figure approached, clicking her heels on the marble floor and removing her glasses as she did so. Her long fringe fell and covered most of her face, but I could still recognize the fanatical glint in her light green, almost colourless eyes. She stopped so close that I could make out the intricate designs of her military robes. I clenched my fists, ready to launch myself at her.

"Most interesting, l'Cie… You're a fascinating case study of conscious crystal sleep. A self-induced crystal stasis that need not the powers of our almighty Fal'Cie."

"Whacchu talkin' about, ya old hag. I saw ya die by Barthandelus' hand. Stop messin' with me."

She laughed, tracing her gloved finger across my right bicep. I shuddered in revulsion and twisted away, my left palm clasping protectively at the area she had just violated. I looked in astonishment at where my l'Cie brand used to be. It was now just a mesh of light scars. Flesh toned scars, mind you, not the white, burnt out kind.

"Hah… you saw me die? Just like you watched Cid Raines die did you?"

Nabaat turned and walked to gaze out at Eden from the windows. Vanille hopped off her side and snuggled next to me. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Our gods see us as tools. We will be disposed of at whim, and brought back to life at their caprice. You have seen Cid Raines as Primarch, have you not? And yet before that, his crystal ashes were scattered in the wind before your very eyes."

She glanced sideways at me. I hugged Vanille tighter.

"I did not die at the Palamecia, if you must know. The Fal'Cie must have let me live for another purpose. To continue my research on all things l'Cie. Which brings me back to why you both are here."

"_Vanille, ya wanna crash out of this party?"_ I whispered during her self-absorbed ramblings.

"_Not now Fang, it's too dangerous! We don't have magic or weapons!" _Vanille mouthed back.

"_This woman is boring me to death! I'd rather take a flying leap."_

"_Hush!"_

Nabaat swiveled in her boots to face us.

"Your dear friend _Captain_ Lightning Farron has been such a wonderful help by the way."

My ears perked up. "What has Light gotta do with ya, woman?" I growled.

"Didn't you know? She was trying ways and means to bring both of you back. Building that other _thing_ to keep Cocoon stable and dispatching scientists and researchers into the field. I must really thank her for making it so easy for me to disguise some of my men in and extract you out from the pillar before she did. Saved me a lot of effort, but kudos to her for working at it for so many years. She simply couldn't understand why her team didn't find any trace of you two." She cackled mirthlessly.

"You _what?"_

She swung her baton to point to my sister. "Vanille there was branded by Anima with the same Focus as the rest of your motley crew. She should have woken up together with your Captain ages ago. It was a simple matter of bringing her out of your crystal labyrinth, and she naturally broke the Fal'Cie curse a few days later."

I gaped at Vanille who was looking earnestly at me. She gave an affirmative nod to confirm that the snake wasn't lying through her teeth.

Now she pointed the tip of her baton to me. I felt like pouncing on her and snapping her toy in half, shoving it up hers, somewhere where the light won't reach.

"You, on the other hand, were quite intriguing. I had my best team working on you and still you remained in stasis. But the signs were so very enthralling! You have an affinity to Ragnarok's crystal. Your thoughts, your dreams, that pillar out there shimmered with your every subconscious desires."

"Which led me to believe that the crystal and you are one and the same. After all, you are the embodiment, the essence of Ragnarok, not that little girl over there. You controlled the crystal, and something was making you stay as crystal. A promise to save Cocoon perhaps?" She sniffed sarcastically. "How heroic."

I was confused. How much of truth was there in her convoluted words? Vanille squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"So… Taking into account that you and Vanille are _kindred spirits_," she expelled the two words like something venomous, "I decided to perform an experiment. Put the two of you on the same brain wavelength, so to speak. She entered your dreams and spoke to you, perhaps you remembered some of that." She gave a small flourish encompassing the two capsules and all the complicated cables and baubles, monitors and machines.

"Imagine my surprise when she reported that you've been having out-of-the-body experiences with Farron all these years." I sniggered at the double entendre and earned a dig in the ribs from Vanille's elbow. "Of course, your powers were restricted to the vicinity of Ragnarok's crystal and so very weak. But it proved the theory that those in crystal could still communicate with the outside world. That girl, Serah, she did the same through her blue crystal tear, did she not? Her fiancé seemed to think so, but given his level of intelligence, he could be hallucinating."

My brain was still trying to slowly process this information. So I had powers that I didn't know I was capable of wielding! And I let Light suffered alone because I could not find my way out!

"And so, little Vanille here gave you the push you needed to wake from your slumber. Of course, the disappearance of Farron contributed a lot to your resolve eh? We thought you weren't going to make it, the way your crystal flared with light and heated up. Ragnarok's crystal gave us quite a dazzling light display while you were at it! The goons sitting at the head of Eden's bureaucracy could hardly keep from wetting their pants at the thought of the crystal collapsing."

_Light disappeared? Why? Where did she go?_ My heart twisted with guilt and longing.

"Nabaat," I sighed, "What d'ya want? Why keep us here?"

She smiled patronizingly at us, as if trying to impart simple knowledge to little children.

"Why? Why do you think? Like I said, my focus is to study all things l'Cie and serve my gods. I have a terrible need to understand why the Fal'Cie Eden and Orphan could be defeated by the likes of you. With that kind of knowledge and power, I might even be able to revive Orphan and make sure he doesn't fall yet again!"

"You're crazy! Orphan's dead and people like you will never begin to grasp the strength of human emotions!" Vanille cried.

"Atta girl!" I concurred.

This time, Ms Know-it-All seemed provoked. She whipped her baton once and electricity crackled from it. I jumped to my feet in front of Vanille. I'll throttle her pretty neck with my blue sari if I had to.

"Oh, I know all about human emotions alright, little girl. You claim to know love, I know all about hate. You want hope, I've got despair. Every spectrum of human emotions, I have the antonyms of them all. I _**will**_ keep you here for as long as I want, for as long as it takes for your _human spirit_ to rot and wither. And there is nothing you can do to stop me, pitiful l'Cies, deprived of power."

She strode out angrily and the heavy doors slid shut with an air of finality.

Vanille turned to me.

"What do we do now, Fang?"

I hugged her close. "First of all, hey kiddo, it's great to see ya again. I'd thought I'd died and gone to heaven. But where's heaven without my Light, hmm? Second of all, we did say we'd raise some hell. Not against Anima though, I was sorely mistaken. My bad. It's against that B, with a five-letter word."

"Fang, if you have to say _bitch_, then just say it already alright?"

"_Vanille!"_

"What? I'm more than five hundred years old, ain't that earn me the right to cuss and swear?"

"Actually, I was gonna say _beaut_ or _broad_, but I guess _bitch_ works fine too…"

Vanille rolled her eyes at me and I rewarded her with my irresistible grin. "Whatever Fang. We need a plan."

"How 'bout I seduce her with my winsome good looks and killer bod? She's actually quite a hottie ya know…"

Vanille slapped my arm hard, the scarred one.

"Oww! Hey, watch it young lady! Just outta crystal, fragile and handle with care 'kay?"

"Get serious, Fang! You wanna see Light again or what?"

"Okay okay… so I don't suppose I could just snatch her glasses and make her blind as a bat too huh. Plan, plan, plan… what plan? Oerba Yun Fang don't make no plans alright? Let's just beat up some PSICOM asses and be on our way."

Vanille sighed. "Fang, I hate to tell you this, but I don't wanna be responsible for bringing a corpse back to Lightning, regardless if the body is still goddess perfect or not. I can try something, but it's not guaranteed to work. Better than sittin' here twiddling our thumbs…"

She beckoned me over to whisper her plans. A smirk spread across my face.

" Why… ya little schemer you… Let's just try this out. She needs us alive anyway, right?"


	10. This is my Fight

**A/N:** Hey everyone, wow, its Chapter 10 already! Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Apologies that I took you on a roller coaster ride with so much angst at the start, then suddenly a dash of humour and the story sorta shot off tangent :P I'm gonna be a bit more talkative here, so bear with me a while, ya?

Chapter 1 to 8 has really been about my struggles mostly, when Light's in pain, so am I. But somewhere at Chapter 8 when it seems that the plot twisted to God knows where, I started enjoying the story as it is, truly appreciating the here and now. I don't know if I'm better at writing dark and angst, or you prefer to read my humour. Honestly, the reviews, the story alerts, the favourites, have all been so encouraging, but I do love to hear more from you so I can gauge the reader's reactions ya? You know why? As Lightning so aptly put it in Gestalt mode, "The end is near!"... wait a minute, or did she say the end is here? Or maybe the storm is here? I really can't tell where its gonna go a few more chapters now, and I'm feeling a bit blue as this is my very first fanfic after all (aside from that other one-shot crack fic I wrote...) Shall I continue? You out there, still bothering to read this, _yes you, don't pretend you did't read this_... you tell me :p

So I'm taking the time here to thank and respond back to my dear reviewers. I see you all as my friends already :)

**OerbaFarron**: You girl, you are really my No. 1 loyal reviewer and fan. How can I ever thank you for that, except maybe kidnap Fang and give her to you if I see her? Your funny comments always make me laff :) Do continue to write and review, I think you light up (pun intended) a lot of people's lives with your attention.

**hubble**: How on earth did you manage to be always the first to review shortly after I put up my story huh? Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed, as much as I enjoyed reading your every comment! Made my day truly...

**Chelisa1031**: Thanks for bothering to explain what your RP guild is doing! Such uncanny resemblance!

**Mkeys927**: Yeah, you brought up a good point on the Focus thing. But let me explain that Vanille got branded a second time by Anima together with Light's party in the Pulse Vestige. They all had the same Focus then, but Fang was missing in that scene. Fang still had her burnt out mark, but practically no Focus throughout the game. So she loathed that she would be left when all her friends turned Cieth

**lala**: Go get a fanfic account and start writing already! Your reviews are insightful, I'm sure you can write as well too!

Not to forget, **Sox **and other random anonymous reviewers, you don't know how much you meant to me... Thank you!

Sooo... just another random thought that my muse had also gone on holiday... I'm not sure if I'll be writing in a while :) Ok ok, on with it...

**

* * *

**

**X. This is my Fight**

_"The future belongs not to those who wait..." – Final Fantasy XIII_

* * *

Security was tight within the confines of the former Orphan's Cradle. Much of the original structure had been destroyed in the epic battle with the l'Cies many years past, but it was now the not-so-secret headquarters of the remaining Sanctum and PSICOM forces.

It was here that Lieutenant Colonel Jihl Nabaat ruled as queen of her dark kingdom, never to see the light of day. The main faction of Sanctum and PSICOM had been dissolved, and she was left with the intelligence, infiltration and warden sections. She understood very well why the present government of Eden chose to pardon her of all military crimes and put her at the helm of this ghost facility. While Cocoon's Fal'Cies may have perished, those on Gran Pulse still thrived.

Jihl smirked. _Insecure, pitiful humans_, she thought. They feared the unknown and worried about the day when Pulse l'Cies were created as tools of destruction again. Hence, the funds for her research kept pouring in and she was virtually untouchable, impervious to all political and military sanctions.

_How naïve they all are_, she concluded contemptuously. What did they expect her to find in her research? A way to reverse the curse of a l'Cie brand? Or if it was already too late, to bring out the remnants of the human left in crystal or Cieth form? Or better yet, to harness the magic and power of a l'Cie? She chuckled to herself. The last one was probably her specialty. She was after all, a master of manipulation and mind games.

She strode across the corridors, fingers tingling with glee and anticipation at the thought of interrogating her prisoners again. She was oblivious to the excited smile that spread across her features, and the fearful, rigid salutes she received from passing patrol soldiers. It looked like a pleasant day ahead for her little chat with her two charming captives.

* * *

The two soldiers relaxed their postures from their salute after the Lieutenant Colonel had breezed past them. The glowing orange stripes running down their body suits and helmets signaled their lower status as they hurried along to the exits.

"_What a snob! Didn't even deign to look at us. She thinks she's so royal now, did she?" _The taller one's deep, distorted voice crackled through the helmet's speakers.

"_She's headed for the Narthex, we've got work to do, let's hurry…" _The shorter one sounded a bit breathless, the hollow static of ragged breathing filtered through the mouthpiece.

The taller soldier gave a disgruntled huff and flipped the middle finger at the departing back of their superior and loped gracefully forward to catch up.

"_Tell me again, why do we have to do this? I sound like some wacko Pulsework soldier gasping through an oxygen mask. And did I tell ya, this uniform reeks! I think I can smell stale garlic in here… Where's a Perfume when ya need one?"_

"_You'll have to beat up one of the ladies in shorts over there, and you know it's only a rare drop. We don't need the attention, just bear with it a while longer till we get outta here."_

"_Yeah sure, you can say that, you're not the one sweating in this furnace."_

There was something odd about the pair that was drawing curious glances from other soldiers. The taller, more athletic one was walking with a lissomeness that could only be described as a panther prowling after a prey. The way the soldier's gun was balanced lazily against the shoulder was also an atypical behavior of disciplined troops. The shorter soldier was practically prancing to keep up with the longer strides of the other while hugging a gun in front like a soft toy.

Finally, the suspicious swaying of their hips while they walked along the aisle was too much for a senior trooper. Just as the pair was about to reach the hoverbikes hangar, he beckoned them over.

"_Hey you! Yeah, you two recruits, come over here!"_

The two soldiers froze. There was a lot of nudging action coming from the shorter soldier on the taller one. Before any of them could respond though, the overhead intercom buzzed to life.

"_This is Lieutenant Colonel Nabaat. Prisoners escape, Code Yellow. I repeat, ahh… fuck it! Code Orange, all you useless morons, get off your lazy asses and __**hunt them down!**__This is __**NOT**__ an exercise!"_

There was a series of muffled grunts that sounded like people were repeatedly being kicked and a sizzling noise that suggested the ample use of electricity. Everyone in the hangar area looked at each other uncertainly.

"_Argh, you miserable twats, how did you let them get the jump on you! __**Code Orange!**__I will personally skin you alive later. MOVE IT! Faaaaaang… Vaniiiillllee…"_

At the sound of their Colonel's rage, the soldiers bustled about confusedly, unsure of what to do. Alarms were flashing in warning everywhere. The taller soldier turned nonchalantly back to one of the hoverbikes that had an idling engine.

"_Come on Vanille, show's up. Time to hit the road! Don't wanna be hangin' 'round for that angry babe."_

"_Ok Fang! You sure you know how to operate that thing?"_

"_I'm no funny man like Sazh, but I think I can handle it."_

Fang sat on the hoverbike sideways, crossed her legs and grabbed the handles, testing the controls. Vanille thrust her arms against her hips.

"_Fang! This is not a chocobo, you cannot sit side-saddle like that! You'll fall off!"_

"_Vanille, trust me. If I can perch myself on Bahamut's head with such wonderful poise and grace, I'm not gonna be falling off anything I'm riding, alright? Just get on, I think I can see that raging beauty approaching behind ya."_

Vanille let out a frightened peep and jumped onto the back of the bike, hanging tightly on to Fang's waist. True enough, Nabaat strode into view with her personal army behind her.

"_LOCK DOWN ALL EXITS!"_ She commanded agitatedly. The heavy metal doors started its slow descent to the floor.

"_Hang on Vanille!"_ Fang plucked off the offending helmet on her head and shook out her wild raven locks. She revved the engine and smirked confidently.

Nabaat's sharp blue gaze zeroed in on her at once and she pointed her baton at her escaping prisoners.

"_GET THEM!" _A shot fired from her, narrowly missing Fang's beautiful hair.

"Ooooh… Hell hath no fury like a woman with guns, eh? Vanille, I think she misses my affection already. Sorry to disappoint 'er there. But she's the wrong shade of blond to be my kind of gal, if ya catch my drift."

Fang hit the accelerator hard, and went zooming in the direction of Nabaat instead of the exit. The soldiers around Nabaat fell back and scrambled out of the way. Vanille screamed and ducked her head behind Fang's shoulders.

"_Fang! Are you trying to kill us?"_

Fang maneuvered the hoverbike and whipped it in a quick circle around Nabaat, using the shockwaves to further scatter her bodyguards away. Nabaat's eyes widened in shock as Fang paused in front of her, giving her a dazzling grin and crooking her long fingers under her chin.

"Be good now, Colonel. Anger is so unbecoming on ya beautiful face. I hope we won't be seeing ya 'round anytime soon." Fang gave the blond woman a suggestive wink. "Duncha miss me now, will ya, luv?"

Nabaat was too stunned to react, her mouth hanging open at the audacity of this woman. With a lingering touch to Nabaat's cheek, Fang tauntingly blew her a kiss goodbye and laughed. She swerved the hoverbike and streaked through the air for the closing exit, narrowly clearing it before the mechanism clanged shut. The deafening silence after was filled by screams of frustration from the thwarted Lieutenant Colonel.

* * *

"Fang, what were you thinking? Antagonizing that horrid woman like that?" Vanille complained as she removed her helmet and tossed it away carelessly.

I shrugged. "Buying us some time so those idiots will find their own door slamming in their faces?"

Vanille paused at this point and patted my head gently. "My, my, our Fang is real clever isn't she?"

I smirked, "Apparently not as clever as our little schemer here for getting us out of this pinch, eh? Now we gotta find Light before those PSICOM goons catch up with us."

I circled the skies for a moment, unsure of my directions yet. "Let's try Bodhum first, shall we? I recalled she was staying there recently…"

Vanille nodded sadly. "It's been so many years, I don't know how to contact the rest of the gang. I hope they're doing okay."

"Alright, keep your spirits up young lady! We're goin' fer a reunion soon 'nuff! Yer gotta help me keep a lookout. Between the two of us, we've only been to Bodhum once…"

* * *

It was late afternoon by the time we finally found our way to Bodhum's beach. We had ditched our ride and the PSICOM disguise on the outskirts of town, but I figured it won't be of much use. Knowing Nabaat, she would predict that our first stop would be at Light's hometown. I could only gamble on the fact that she could not make a scene by bringing the whole army down on us.

The current challenge was to locate Light's house in this upscale neighbourhood. There was a row of posh apartments facing Bodhum's beach, but which one belonged to our dear Captain? In my mind's eye, I was looking for something classy, utilitarian, bare minimalist and compulsively neat. _Like the woman herself_, I thought fondly. So we gave a miss to those houses with children's toys strewn out back or those with well tended flower patches in front.

_This is like finding a needle in a bleedin' vipers' nest!_

Vanille had started asking the neighbours for any sighting of our beloved pink haired soldier, when I indeed detected a flash of pink down the street opening the front entrance to one of the houses a few doors down. My heart lurched in recognition and went into a crazy gallop as I grabbed Vanille's arm and pulled her forcefully away mid-sentence.

"Heeey, Fang, what the -?" Vanille broke off her tirade when she too spotted what I saw. We raced down the avenue and I planted my foot in the doorway just before it closed. Strawberry blond hair framing bewildered blue eyes gazed at me, but my attention was drawn to the burgeoning belly of the figure before me instead. My heart plunged down deeper and faster than the musical elevator in Taejin's Tower.

"Nooo… Light! Ya got yerself knocked up in the few months after you were gone?" I cradled my head in my hands in denial. "Maker, nooo… nooo… I wanna die right now… why couldn't ya wait… why, who's the filthy bugger -"

My chin had the enviable honour of reacquainting itself with a very, very familiar right hook. I could see stars and dancing chocobos burst out in front of my vision.

_Oh, this must be heaven…_

"Oops, I'm so sorry! That was just reflex, I don't know what happened..." A higher pitched voice that was similar to Lightning's, but not quite, spoke up apologetically.

As I shook my head and staggered about clutching my chin to regain my senses, Vanille popped up behind me and gave an excited squeal of delight.

"Serah!" She jumped and gave the girl a bear hug. "You're well! Where's Snow?"

_Huh?_

My right eye squinted open and I gave the pink haired girl a once-over.

_Oh right! She must be Light's sister, Serah! I'm such a dork! Wow, the resemblance is intense…_

My heart survived the death-defying plummet and started soaring higher, now that the misunderstanding was cleared.

_What's with the Farrons and their right hooks anyway…_

At the mention of the hero's name, the large figure appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

"FANG! VANILLE!" He boomed, striding over to encompass us in his thick arms.

"Oh no you don't, Mister Hero. You're not crushing me with ya – oomph!"

Etro! Was this how Serah felt like everytime she was in this big oaf's arms? I pitied the girl! No wonder Light was so against their marriage. I didn't know there was mortal danger in associating yourself with this self-proclaimed hero. I think Vanille might have passed out from all the air being squeezed out of her, her eyes bulged and rolled backwards for a moment.

"You made it! You really, really made it! I knew you would! But Sis couldn't wait and she took off didn't she."

"Snow… need.. air…"

"Oh oops, sorry, my bad." Snow continued casually as he dropped us to the floor. "Serah, you've met Fang, or at least your right fist has." He chuckled to himself. "Honey, does it hurt? This woman's head can be quite a brick. Oh Fang, this is Serah…" Snow began to introduce us enthusiastically while Vanille and I recovered our breaths. I had half a mind to make Serah a widow this instant, but I knew Light wouldn't take kindly to that.

Serah extended her hand shyly to me. "Hi Fang, it's great to finally meet Claire's best friend. She was waiting forever for you, you know. About time you showed up."

Again, my heart expanded and went floating over the clouds at her words that I just had to envelop the shorter girl gently into my embrace.

"Serah, it's good to finally meet Light's reason for living as well." I whispered emotionally. Serah nodded against my shoulders and sobbed with joy.

After a few more moments of tearful reunion and passing of congratulations to Serah's pregnancy, we got down to serious business. We stepped into Light's house and caught up. I explained Nabaat's existence and how she foiled Light's plan of getting to us. Serah updated on Light's disappearance a few months back, and how she and Snow had moved into Light's place temporarily to wait for her return.

"So you meant that all that business of the crystal pillar shimmering was because you were trying to break out of crystal sleep?" Serah asked excitedly while I took a tour of the apartment.

"Yeah, beats me, that's what that woman claimed anyway. Is this her room?"

"Yup. I left it as it was. Couldn't really bear to touch her things, just making sure that everything's there when she comes back, you know?"

I stepped into the comfortably large bedroom, all tidy and neat as I had suspected. The room was painted in calming shades of pastel blue and white. Next to the bed., the French doors framed with translucent white curtains opened out to an expansive balcony facing the beach. Her closet door was still opened, and I could see her gunblades displayed against the wall.

"She didn't take her weapons with her?" I asked incredulously.

Serah bit her lip, no doubt distressed once again by her sister's sudden disappearance.

"That's what I was worried about. I think she only took the survival knife that I gave her. Oh Fang… what if something happened to her? I know she took her cell phone, but she's not reachable! Knowing Claire, she can't be found if she doesn't want anyone to find her! You've got to find her, Fang!"

I rubbed her back soothingly during her hysteria, even though I know my face was frowning with worry as well.

"I _will_ find her and bring her back safely, Serah. This I promise."

I took one last look around the room, knowing I wouldn't be finding any clues in there, and walked back towards the staircase.

"Nabaat will be hunting us down, I think Vanille and I should split up. My instincts tell me she's after me more than she's after Vanille. Can Vanille stay with you guys for the time-being? I trust Snow to take care of you both." I never thought I would say that last line, but extreme situations called for desperate measures.

"Sure thing Fang, but what do you plan to do?"

"I'll need to go find Light somewhere. But I need my equipment first."

"Oh, I think Light stored all the things from her l'Cie days in the basement, come with me!"

I raised my eyebrow at this, but beckoned Vanille to join us in the basement.

"Let's see…" Serah and Snow started rummaging about the shelves in the stuffy basement.

"Hey, I think this belongs to Fang!" Snow exclaimed triumphantly and held out my Kain's Lance.

"Way to go, Hero. Find any of Vanille's stuff?" I took back my beloved weapon and twirled it.

"Sis couldn't have gone fishing with it, could she?" He asked innocently, earning a resounding smack on the back of his blond head from Vanille.

"Oh, was that a hollow sound I heard?" I teased him right back.

While the two continued searching, Serah handed one of Light's gunblade to me. "Pass it to Claire when you see her, Fang."

I looked at the gunblade, and then at my lance dubiously.

"Duncha think its kinda attention-grabbing to be carrying two weapons 'round the place? You can't exactly hide a gunblade in your clothes without causing a bulge somewhere."

Vanille sniggered and Serah coloured a little at the mental image.

"Y-You're right, of course. We need a carrier for these sort of things, wait…"

She looked around some more and asked Snow to drag out a black case for her.

"Ahh… Brings back memories. Snow, please open the case and empty it out, thanks sweetie."

Snow opened the case and took out a large musical instrument and put it aside.

"What's this?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, this is a cello. Claire used to play it when she and I were young… B-Before, before our parents died. She used to be so good at it, and I would play the violin with her." She paused thoughtfully, "I think if things hadn't gone the way it did, her dream may have been to become a cellist."

_What? My Light, playing the music of life, and not wielding the fiddle of death?_

Serah stroked the contours of the dark wood and lamented. "Hmm… I would love for her to play it again though. She carries a soulful note quite well. We used to practice late into the night and her music could move me to tears."

She twirled her pink ponytail in contemplation and added as an afterthought, "Oh, that's why we sisters have a weird quirk to sweep our hair to one side. Normally, people will swing it to the right side, out of the way of the neck and finger board of the instruments we play. But Claire and I had always wanted to be different and chose to style our hair to the left side together instead." She smiled sadly. "Guess we couldn't predict that one day she would trade her bow for a sword."

Something about the way she said it, made my insides tear up at the thought of Light's lost hopes and dreams. I gently placed Light's gunblade into the empty cello case. After a moment's hesitation, I unhinged my lance into its three sections and placed it next to Light's weapon. Somehow, the two pieces of glistening metal made quite a picturesque image, leaning against each other. _Like a set of couple rings_, I mused. _They belonged with each other._

Vanille clapped her hands together to break the melancholic moment.

"Alright, Snow and I have come up with a plan to lure Light out instead of Fang having to search for her. We might have to rope in Sazh and Hope for this one."

"_Snow_ coming up with plans? And my Bahamut can lay an egg!" I taunted as I clicked shut the cello case and slung it on my back.

"Hey!" Snow protested.

"No fighting, kids. We gotta work together on this one. Serah, pass Fang your cell phone. I'll explain as I go along."


	11. Let Dreams Take Flight

**********A/N: **Hi everyone, it's me again. Been away for a while, thinking... busy... you know, the usual. Christmas is round the corner, so let me chip in with a short interlude on family gatherings :) Not my best chappy. Unfortunately, I've been writing too many technical documents and other stuff that my vocabulary was reduced to "if a, then b, else c"... "Burrr... robot!"

I want to thank my reviewers, and other readers who have stuck with me thus far. Your encouragement fuels me to keep going. Yup, OerbaFarron, Hubble, lala, LycanShadow, PhantomBlaze, Ninja and Mkeys. Special mention to Major Mike who is not amongst my reviewers and reader, all your ROFL and LMAO in your reviews to others had an effect on me... weird effect indeed... :( The words got stuck in my head.  
**  
****Mkeys927:** Yeah, musical Light, you like that huh? I actually spun off into another story with that one, hope it goes well :p Yep, Serah's prego as mentioned in Chapter 7 _"Serah had Snow to take care of her. They were going to start a family soon."._ I'm amazed how detailed you read the stuff! Now I'm trembling about what other plot loopholes you're gonna find, haha

**

* * *

**

****

XI. Let Dreams take Flight

There was a general atmosphere of festivities at the Estheim's residence in Palumpolum. It became a temporary headquarters for the gathering of former l'Cies, with Fang notably missing. Despite the tension of what laid ahead, the family was very much immersed in the elation and joy of reunion, evident by the amount of tears shed and the effusive back-thumping between the men.

There were plans to be made, kinks to be worked out, but undeniable was the overwhelming sense of optimism and anticipation. The slightest thought of failure never crossed their minds. Instead, one could almost hear the drumbeats and trumpets of victory's fanfare, everyone already celebrating the completion of their l'Cie family in the very near future. If they could face the gods and defeat them, if the impossibility of waking from crystal sleep could be overcome, nothing could faze them anymore.

It was indeed a time of hope, of dreams taking flight, of embracing the future in all its glory and flaws.

Hope Estheim stood nervously in front of Vanille, now a head taller than the petite girl. Needless to say, the boy had matured fairly well. His boyish features had gained sharper prominence and he had grown more muscle over his adolescent frame. The sides of his silvery blond hair were slicked back, his bangs falling endearingly across his forehead. He cleared his throat and spoke with a deeper, mellifluous voice.

"Vanille… Light and I, we both prayed hard for this day. I… I never got the chance to say. But when I lost Mom, it was just… I was so… lost and vengeful. You gave me hope." He laughed awkwardly at the irony of his name. "Anyway, um… yeah, I wanted to say… thank you. And you probably don't know, but this moment, you coming back? It means a lot, you know?"

Vanille smiled softly and took both of his gloved hands in her bare ones. Hope then was just a boy who had to learn the hard way to grow up quickly. Hope now was confident and slowly but surely growing into his own. He was still wearing his favourite khaki greens and browns, and Vanille only realized now just how much they had gone through together, and how she had missed his company.

"I'll keep coming back to you like your boomerang, Hope. We're family and I'm not plannin' on going anywhere now."

Hope smiled at Vanille gratefully and squeezed her hands gently.

Snow, standing next to Serah, rubbed his hands together and looked over to Sazh.

"So what's it going to be, Sazh? You ready for some action? Not getting too old with your skills are you?"

The black man ignored his snide remark and crossed his arms, cocking his head over to Vanille.

"Always at the ready, waiting for that little missy to give us some instructions. I'm the man for all things mechanical."

Vanille gave Sazh a hug. "That you are, old man! Take the lead on this one!"

Sazh had gotten rid of his afro and preferred his hair closely cropped to his head, with stylish jagged lines running through his scalp. Some things never change though, he liked his military-like olive coat well enough. He chuckled under his breath and warmly returned Vanille's hug.

"No more running away now, little girl."

"You betcha!"

Vanille looked around the faces of her family and grinned. "No time to waste, Fang's out there counting on us! Time and precision is key here."

The others murmured their approval. Sazh gave a thumbs-up.

"Alrighty! Let Operation ROFL begin then!" Vanille cried excitedly.

"…"

There was a moment of absolute silence where one could hear the gears turning in their heads, with Snow's chugging away at an exceptionally slow speed of course.

"Erm, what's that, Vanille?" Serah asked quietly.

"Oh, what, ROFL? Reconnaissance Ops to Find Light. Catchy huh?"

Sazh slapped his forehead and muttered, "More like Rogue Oerban Fetching Light or something… This is so anti-climatic."

* * *

Operation ROFL was a simple three step plan. _Attract, Distract_ and _Extract._

_One…_

"Hope, quick! Go talk to her!" Vanille hissed.

"Wha- No, aw come on! There are so many other candidates out there! You can do it yourself Vanille!"

"What? And what makes you think Light won't run the other way to the ends of the world, or think I'm a hallucination like Fang?"

"You always have to do things the hard way?"

Vanille gave the silver haired boy a push towards a sporty looking girl with a short bob.

"She's in the hacker club we need! Go!"

Hope sighed and approached the girl.

"Erm, Yuffie? Yuffie Kisaragi?"

The young girl turned and gave Hope a cautious once-over.

"Depends on who's asking."

Hope scratched his head… _Here goes nothing…_

"Hope Estheim, you may have heard of me."

"Ahhh… the former l'Cie who saved Cocoon! Can I have your autograph please?"

Taken aback, Hope took two paces closer to Vanille.

"Ehh… I've heard of your hacker's club, Miss Kisaragi! The skills your team has in infiltrating places to broadcast the truth to the world from your Shinra network." Hope was rambling at this point. "How about I give you inside exclusives to the reason behind the glowing pillar that the government in Eden is trying to cover up?"

Yuffie took a step forward excitedly. "You're serious? You know the story behind that?" Then she narrowed her eyes. "And you expect me to hack the network and broadcast such scandalous news to Cocoon's citizens? What's the catch?"

Vanille smiled happily. "Let's just say you're doing it all for a good cause! How 'bout I throw in a limited edition, autographed poster of Captain Lightning Farron?"

"Done deal!"

_Two…_

"Sazh, tell me again how many of these wretched buggers do I have to stuff down this hole?"

"Just keep going at it Hero, Serah's gonna be soooo proud of you."

"You do realize that these things are gonna blow up any second now, don't you? There won't be any piece of me left to go back to Serah! You're making my unborn child fatherless?"

"Don't be such a party pooper. We're supposed to light up Gran Pulse with fireworks! 'Sides, Dajh's waiting for his pop back home too. Remember that this is all for Fang and Light."

Snow struggled with one of the rebellious beasties, making sure not to hasten their suicidal notions. "That's right! AAAAnd… the Hero never gives up! For Fang and Light!"

And with a final grunt, Snow pushed the last of the Bombs and Cryohedrons, all twitching agitatedly, into the crevasse in the crystal pillar made by Sazh's drill.

_Three…_

"Quick Sazh, she's accessing her datalogs!"

"Vanille, I'm trying ok?"

"_Triangulating signal in process…"_

"Holy chocobos… She's still in Cocoon! But strange, I cannot narrow down her position any further."

"Doesn't matter! Fang! You still there? Transferring datalog to you, access from Serah's cell phone, alright?"

_Zero…_

"Bingo, found ya Light!"


	12. Here I am

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait. I had to plan this to go out with a blast. Actually intended to release it over New Year's Eve, to conclude the year on a high note. But oh well... This is the longest chapter I have ever written by far!

To all who stayed with the story, I must always remember to THANK YOU! *Gives a deep bow* I have made some friends amongst you, and I count myself blessed that some of you bother to listen to me :)  
Anyhow, for those familiar with my style of being all over the place, this chapter is a mesh of it, with humour, angst, seriousness, you name it! Actually, it has only one name - DRAMA! Haha... It has come full circle.

More notes at the end, but for now, enjoy! HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! (In case you stopped mid-way through the chapter and gave up :p)

**

* * *

**

**XII. Here I am**

_One…_

"_There are many sources claiming that flashes of bright light could be seen from inside the crystal pillar … Ragnarok's crystal fall apart... This is Yuffie reporting live from New Oerba City."_

_Two…_

… the ground shook beneath our feet and screams punctured the still air.  
_What the hell just happened?_

_Three…_

I looked around me, at the pale faces of the students all frozen in mid-action at whatever they were doing seconds ago. The earthquake didn't feel natural. I was expecting something more to happen, but there was just a morbid silence after the initial screams. I slung Zell's heavy arm off my shoulders and shook him out of his daze.

"Zell, listen to me. Look at me, damn it! Something's gone down, take Aeris someplace safe. I gotta check some stuff up."

Zell slowly came out of his stupor and gave me a nod. He wrapped his arms around a shaken Aeris. I turned to her and rubbed her arm soothingly.

"Don't worry Aeris. Zell will take care of you. I'll check back on you guys in a while."

Aeris took my wrist and gave me a concerned look. "Claire, are you sure? What do you need to do? We can come with you."

"Yeah Tonnerre, Aeris is right. We should stick together in case."

I almost laughed bitterly at the reminder of _"sticking together"_. Nothing good ever seems to come out from that.

"I'll be fine. I just need to grab some stuff. Try to stay in the open ground alright? Don't want anything to fall on your heads."

I gave them a nod, turned and ran towards the dormitories before they had a chance to respond. Other students were either also running haphazardly or huddling in groups to speculate on what just happened. I never speculate. I need my facts in order to decide on my next step.

* * *

Back in my room, I reached into the secret compartment at the back of my closet to extract my cell phone. I had also turned on the television to see if I could catch any updates. The same reporter from that night appeared onscreen again.

"_Breaking news. Just a while ago, a series of denotation originated from the base of Cocoon, within the Ragnarok's crystal."_ A close-up shot of a gaping black hole within the crystal pillar was shown, with smoke still emitting from it. I clenched my fist and pushed it against my mouth to stifle my horrified scream.

_Oh no, Fang, Vanille… If they are still in there somewhere…_

"_The explosions caused a tremor to be felt in various parts of Cocoon. Initial speculation was that it could have been the work of Gran Pulse beasties, namely the Cryohedrons and Bombs. Though how they managed to get inside the pillar would require further investigations from the authorities. Cocoon's citizens are advised not to panic and to stay put in their homes. This is Yuffie reporting live from New Oerba City."_

The camera pulled away to show the young reporter with a short bob, who appeared to be standing on top of the Oerban Guardian Corps Tower. I raised my eyebrow in surprise. Since when did reporters start taking risks and appear at the top of buildings for their scoop?

I turned my attention back to my cell phone, trying to start it up. My datalogs were still kept in the gadget, and I was eager to access the Guardian Corps internal database for more information. Assuming that my IDs had not been revoked, that is. Perhaps I should try calling Serah as well, make sure that she's alright.

The device activated and brought up a hologram screen of the Guardian Corps network. Apparently, my identification still checked out.

"_Welcome to the Guardian Corps Portal, Captain Lightning Farron. You are now accessing classified information."_

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth impatiently, as I shuffled the data onscreen, tapping the icons floating and glowing in the air. However, try as I may, I just couldn't find any information related to the explosions. _What's going on?_

I switched off the hologram and started dialing Serah's number, at the same time rushing out of the room into the courtyard to catch up with my friends. The phone kept ringing, but no one was picking up. Plus, I could hear clicks in the background, like the signal was being tapped. _How could it be?_ This was an encrypted line, standard GC issue. I ignored my suspicions. The more important thing was to reach Serah. _Where was she, why wasn't she picking up?_

By the time I reached the courtyard, I was so confused and worried that I didn't register the commotion in front of me at first. Then the crowd parted dramatically like the red sea, and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. All the air rushed out of my lungs at once and I felt weightless. I was completely unaware that my phone had slipped from my hand and crashed to the floor. All my senses reeled and honed in on the figure a distance away, picking herself up from the ground. An abandoned hoverbike lay nearby. My heart started to race in recognition long before my mind could catch up with the mirage. That familiar, _achingly familiar_ silhouette, dusting herself off and shaking out her raven tresses.

_No… It can't be… I must be losing my mind… Not again… Stop!_

I forced myself out of my reverie and colourful imagination, before the figure could turn around and crush my frivolous hopes once more. _If it's not her face that I see…_

I bent on my knees to retrieve my phone and stayed in that position for a while to regulate my breathing and regain some of my sanity. If I were to let myself imagine the possibilities, I was sure to hyperventilate on the spot. Willing my eyes to look in another direction, I quickly got up and strode across the courtyard.

_

* * *

_

Attract…

The gang needed to spread the news to attract the attention of our pink haired soldier. We all fervently prayed that she had cable or television wherever she cooped herself in. I trust Vanille to find the best way to do so.

_Distract…_

Some fireworks should spark her into action. Snow's idea was brilliant, but I hated to admit that. I even threatened to finish him off if blowing up the crystal pillar damaged my physical self in any way. After all, according to Nabaat, I'm supposedly linked to it.

_Extract…_

Finally, my turn for some action. I had been playing hide-and-seek with our Lieutenant Colonel for the past week, darting all over the place to avoid her and her cronies. I must say, I was starting to get a sadistic addiction from evading her, and practically laughing in her face as I did so. Vanille had me dressed up from head to toe in some black leather garb, while I toted our weapons around, out of sight in Light's cello case. I doubted Nabaat knew what she was looking for. She probably had her soldiers out searching for a gorgeous woman clad in blue sari.

_Now ya see me, now ya don't… Eat this, Nabaat!_

Sazh was now rambling something about not being able to give the exact coordinates. I didn't quite care. I set my hoverbike in the general directions and went zooming off towards the flashing green dot indicated on my screen.

The rest of the team were back at headquarters, with a live coverage of my activities from the camera installed on my reflective shades. A mouthpiece wrapped around my ear kept me in touch with them at all times. I spoke into it now.

"Vanille, Sazh, can you check if that psychotic woman is still after my tail?"

"_Not that I can see, Fang. Relax, you're almost there!"_

"Great. I can see a signboard up ahead. You see that guys? What does it say, eh?"

I accelerated past a neon banner, with elaborate Cocoon script that I could not read.

ようこそ、アルカデイアへ

"_I think it says… 'Welcome to Arcadia'", _came Serah's reply. _"There's some other words underneath I couldn't make out. Something about restricted usage of velocycles?"_

_Hmm… strange._

"Look, there's another one with some arrows. Wazzit say, Vanille?"

未検定の自動車は、この駐車場を止めてください -D -D

_(Cocoon translation: Unauthorized vehicles, please park here -D -D)_

"… _Fang, I don't speak Cocoon! Wazzit say, Serah?"_

"_Too fast, Fang, you're driving too fast! I can't catch it!"_

"Well, too bad, I'm not gonna slow down just to read some stupid signboards…"

I passed another one in glowing red letters.

最後の警告。未検定の自動車は、絶対には入ることができませんでした。さっさと戻るください

_(Cocoon translation: This is your final warning. Unauthorized vehicles will not be able to enter. Please turn your vehicle around now.)_

"Oh for Etro's sake, what is that load of gibberish?" I shouted in exasperation.

"_Erm, I think it said to turn back… Fang, I told you you're driving too fast, I can't read the words!"_

"Serah, forget it alright? I don't care what it says, I'm getting to Light."

I flashed past another sign in blinking yellow.

君、バカじゃないの？

_(Cocoon translation: Are you an idiot?)_

"_Fang! I think the signboard just called you an idiot!"_

"Wha-? Nobody calls Oerba Yun Fang an effing idiot –"

Before I could finish my swearing, my hoverbike seemed to have rammed through a force field of sorts. I could feel the shield plaster across my face while I heard an excessive amount of crackling static noise. I sailed through the air for a while, before I realized the glowing green dashboard of my hoverbike had completely died. I looked at it in horror and started to pound my fists on random buttons.

"Vanille! Serah! Can ya hear me?" _Oh Fal'Cie, I never thought I would say this._ "Help? Anyone?"

_Crap! All the electronic equipment died. Was that what those retarded signboards were tryin' to tell me?_

My hoverbike continued its freefall happily, oblivious to my state of panic. The artificial brown earth of Cocoon was welcoming me enthusiastically into its embrace, and I pondered briefly how it would taste like in my mouth. In my hysteria, I was trying desperately to hit the mental pause button on the whole life-flashing-in-front-of-me thingy. I refused to sit through the whole boring five hundred years of my life right now.

_Ok Oerba Yun Fang, land with grace, grace, ya hear me? Ya boasted to Vanille that ya won't fall off anything you're riding right? Now's the time to prove it…_

I shut my eyes and sent a little prayer up to my pink haired goddess. Then I stood up on the bike with shaky legs, trying to time my landing. As soon as I felt the hoverbike skim the dirt, I pushed off with my powerful legs and dived into the air with my arms outstretched.

_Damn! Vanille will be so proud of me… NOT!_

Despite my best efforts, I found myself thrown forward by momentum in a tangle of limbs. I could no longer feel which were my hands and which were my feet.

"Ouch, ooo… Kupo's nuts! Yeow! Moogle's butt…"

Halfway through my less than graceful tumble, I became aware of the fact that my dear Captain Lightning Farron might be witnessing this spectacle. If even possible, my panic spiked tenfold at this thought. I curled myself into a ball and relaxed, letting myself rolled along sideways until inertia set in. Then I jumped elegantly up and swept my amazing black hair out of my face, none the worse for wear. Light's cello case seemed to be a bit battered up though.

_Phew… Landed with all appendages intact! Well done Fang!_

I took a moment to dust my leather jacket off and readjust the cello case on my back. Then I turned slowly around (my back was killing me, alright?), and whipped my now crooked shades off my face. It took me a moment to survey the crowd, all of whom were staring slack-jawed at me like I was their fairy godmother descended from the skies.

My peripheral vision caught a glimpse of pink hair and my heart launched into a frantic gallop of "_There, there!"_ Acting purely on instinct, I already shot forward towards that familiar colour. Curiously, and I swear its not my imagination, the figure seemed to sense a predator, and darted even faster away.

_Oh no you don't…_

With the last of my strength, I leapt forward to tackle the figure to the ground. There was an indignant and surprised yelp before we hit the ground together. I struggled with the person a while, before flipping her over and staring speechless into the most beautiful, sapphire blue eyes of my dreams. Those said blue eyes widened in shock and seemed to glaze over in stupor.

My own vision adjusted and I took a more careful look at the woman pinned under me. And then I frowned. Something's not right.

"Light?" I asked uncertainly. Who was this imposter, wearing dark rimmed glasses, hair in a side ponytail, and was that a short tartan skirt she had on? Did Light forget to mention that she had a twin sister? Claire? Serah? Clara, maybe?

Something snapped back into that sky blue eyes that I loved so much. She pulled back her fist and walloped me, before bracing her knees on my toned abs and kicking off. She rolled ever so gracefully and launched herself into a backflip, an intimate and recognizable movement even without her cape. I took the moment to appreciate her stance underneath.

_Ok, same old painful right hook, check! Belly button ring, check! Black shorts underneath skirt, check! This is my Light alright…_

Light landed a few feet away, her gaze betraying her confusion, hurt and anger. I got up on my feet and raised my hands up in surrender.

"Alright, Light, it's me. Fang, alright? No, you're not hallucinating. Yes, I'm real. Let me explain, ok? Wait, don't run away! Listen to me!"

My pink haired soldier looked like she was about to bolt at any moment now.

"I was stuck in that crystal with Vanille, then Jihl Nabaat came along and extracted us out before ya did. Somehow, we woke up. I don't know how, but here I am!" My raised arms now beckoned to embrace her and I took small steps towards her.

"Light, I could have died a million times before. I could have slept for an eternity. But I'm still here. There's gotta be a reason, and I believe the reason is you... You gave my life meaning, and I exist to stay by your side. It took me so long to realize it." I crooked a self-deprecating grin and implored. "Give me a chance back in your life, Light. I'm not gonna hurt ya. I swear it!"

_If anything, I think I only ever lived to die for ya…_

There was uncertainty and tears in those glistening cerulean orbs. I knew I was getting through to her. I inched forward even more. _Come on, Light…_

"Fang? Is that really you?" she whispered.

_Damn girl, who did ya think was talking to ya for the past five minutes…_

_Twack!_

I stumbled forward in surprise and turned around. A young girl with brunette hair had just whacked me on the head with an oversized twig.

"Get away from Claire, you… you… weirdo!"

"Wait, Aeris, it's alright! She's a friend!" Light hurried forward to stand protectively in front of me. My heart was about to burst with pride and longing. But before I could do anything else, something tackled me from the side and landed me flat on my back.

It took me a moment to recognize the darker blonde hair of my arch nemesis.

"Miss me?" she crooned.

"Nabaat! How?" I growled. I mimicked Light's movement earlier and backflipped a few paces away, my legs still in a crouch. Nabaat gave a shrill laugh and drew her weapon.

"You're coming back with me Fang, whether you like it or not."

I swiftly removed the cello case on my back and kicked it open. With my eyes still on Nabaat, I threw Light's gunblade to her and picked up my Kain's Lance. Light caught her gunblade deftly, but remained standing, glaring between Nabaat and myself.

"Watcha standing there for Light? Get her already!"

"Fang, is that my cello case that you just kicked open? And of all my gunblades, why the hell did you pick my Axis Blade? Where's my Omega?"

I looked over at her incredulously. _Why, woman, would you want to choose this moment to pick a fight with me, eh?_

Nabaat smirked and wasted no time in advancing upon me. I beat her fencing stick away with my lance as I shouted to Light, "Your sister picked the gunblade, not me! Would ya mind getting over here?" I growled irritably at Nabaat's distracting onslaught. "Oh alright, leave me alone to face off this evil woman, why duncha? I'm sure I can handle it!"

By this time, I had already forced Nabaat against a tree, with my lance pressed against her throat. She continued to grin at me.

"Where's the joke, Nabaat?" I sneered.

"Remember when I told you I understood the whole spectrum of human emotions, Fang?"

"Yeah, what 'bout it?"

"When you can't beat them…" She murmured as she activated the energy in her baton and blasted me off. As I skidded across the dirt, she took the chance to pin me down.

"Join 'em?" I suggested wickedly.

"No…" She enunciated slowly as she gave me a wink. "Cheat!"

And with that, she grabbed my collar to pull me up and plant a kiss solidly on my lips.

_Eeew… What the hell?_

I made to push her away, but must have looked like I'm groping her or something. Before I knew it, I could hear and feel Light's silent rage, "Fang… You womanizer, you…"

Nabaat laughed lightly and skipped away, and I found that my new adversary was now the love of my life, looking gorgeous still with her blazing blue eyes. I gave an uncharacteristic squeak as the ground around me ripped open in a hail of bullets.

"Wa-wait, Light! It's a misunderstanding!" I parried her lightning quick blows. My god, this woman can fight!

"Which side of my eyes misunderstood you, the left or the right?" She intoned calmly and dangerously, looking about to launch into her fearsome Army of One.

"I don't wanna fight ya alright? Can we please talk 'bout this?" I pleaded while twirling my lance this way and that to deflect her deadly blows.

"Talk to my blade all you want Fang." She locked her weapon on mine and pushed me back till I was against the same tree that I cornered Nabaat on. Suddenly, her strength waned and she stopped, staring into my eyes with pained emotion. I've seen that look before, that night by the cliff in the storm. I was transfixed and couldn't look away.

"Fang, I waited for you for so long! I have so many things to say to you, things that I thought I would never be able to tell you in my lifetime! I thought you were gone for good, and I've tried so hard to move on with my life. Here. I've said goodbye to you already, didn't I? Didn't I?" The last part came out as an uncertain whisper.

My heart twisted as the tears spilled forth from her azure eyes. Suddenly, the fight was no longer about Nabaat. She was just using it as an excuse to channel her heartbreak. I knew what to do. I lowered my weapon gently and closed my eyes. Her gunblade was still digging into my shoulders, and I might have been bleeding. But I didn't care. I opened up my arms and slowly wrapped her in my embrace, aching for the lost years, her lonely struggles that I wasn't there with her for.

It seemed that my warm presence might have finally registered in her adrenaline pumped mind, and her body started to wrack with sobs that had been suppressed for far too long. I finally got to kiss her forehead and run my hands through her silken hair again. I missed her so much. She never once said she returned my affections, the way I feel for her, but I think this is enough for me. More than I could ever wish for. That familiar, flowery scent coming from her, it's all the oxygen I would ever need.

Nabaat must have felt neglected at this point in time. We heard a loud shrill whistle and we were suddenly surrounded by more than a dozen of the Sanctum soldiers. Light stoically pulled herself together and stepped back from my embrace. I thought she would continue to reject me, but she lifted her palm and gently caressed the side of my face, while giving me the sweetest, tremulous smile.

"We'll continue this talk later Fang. Looks like we've got company."

I gave her my most dashing grin and wiped away the remaining tears on her cheek with my thumb. "Later then. We would have plenty of time later, luv."

We fell back to our old paradigms, with our shoulders and back against each other, facing the outside enemies. From gunblade to lance, we were one in unison, and had been so since the day we met.

_Long live, all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you…_

* * *

Unbeknownst to Fang and Lightning, the rest of their family had already caught up with them. As their two best fighters broke out from within, Snow, Vanille, Hope and Sazh trapped the enemy soldiers from the rear. Even without the aid of magic and Eidolons, all of them were experienced warriors who had withstood the toughest of trials.

"Light, Fang!" Vanille waved enthusiastically. "Sazh managed to lower the force field around this area for a while so we could fly in. Sorry we're late!"

Hope threw his boomerang, which managed to catch some soldiers by surprise, before hitting Snow solidly in the chest on its return.

"Ow! Hey, watch it, kiddo!" The brawler frowned as he continued to punch the lights out from nearby enemies.

"Oops, sorry Snow. I'm out of practice…"

Vanille giggled and sent the hooks and wires of her rod forward, entangling the limbs of the soldiers rushing towards her.

In the midst of her deadly sword dance, Light cried out to her friends. "Aeris, Zell, get the hell outta here!" Fang seemed to anticipate her concerns, neatly clearing a path out for the escaping students with powerful lunges from her lance.

Sazh looked around the chaos and spied his old enemy within the fray. "Nabaat! We have an old score to settle!" He challenged with the tips of his guns.

The woman gave an irritated harrumph and proceeded to step backwards slowly. "Retreat!" She commanded, knowing the battle was lost for now.

"Lady, don't even think about it!" Sazh fired two warning shots, narrowly missing Nabaat. "'_For every task, there's a perfect tool'._ Remember that line, Jihl?"

Nabaat smirked. "Oh do I ever. What about that?"

"Well, say your prayers girl. You're caught on camera." He waved to Yuffie, who was hopping agilely around, catching all the action on video. "Your political immunity with the Eden government will be over by the time this gets out. We'll see how you squirm your way out of this one, Lieutenant Colonel!"

Yuffie concurred and waved cheerily to Nabaat. "This is Yuffie, reporting live from the charming town of Arcadia! Everyone, say 'Cheese'! Or in your case Miss Nabaat, say 'Prison Cell'!"

_

* * *

_

Epilogue…

A long time later, I stood on the rooftop of the dormitories, enjoying the sunset with Fang. We had to leave for New Oerba soon, to settle the whole Nabaat fiasco and to formally celebrate our reunion at Fang's and Vanille's former hometown.

I still had some things left unsaid, and I didn't want to leave without getting it out in the open. I was still paranoid about not getting any further chances in the future.

Fang was lying down on the sloping roof on her elbows, gingerly nursing the slight wound I had made to her shoulders earlier. I exhaled guiltily and moved her hands aside to tend to the wound myself.

"Fang," I procrastinated, trying to put my thoughts into words. "What if this doesn't last? The closer people are to each other, the more glaring their flaws become."

My hands trembled as I continued. "What if I get bored with you one day, or we bicker all the time, or we have some kind of irreconcilable misunderstanding? What if whatever we have now fades with time, and we become strangers who hardly know each other? I don't have the confidence or faith that I can be by your side forever."

Fang sighed and sat up. Holding my face between her palms, she looked me in the eyes, holding my gaze deeply with her viridian ones. "Claire Farron. Nobody can guarantee what will happen in the future. It is the here and now that's worth thinking about. You're not gonna give up on what could be, just because of all your 'what-ifs' and fears are ya? Giving up before ya even tried? That's not like you, Light."

Her thumbs started to trace my cheekbones in a circular, reassuring manner, her face softening. "I can't promise ya what will happen to us five years from now. Heck, even one year later. I can give ya my word though, that I will treasure every good moments like this with ya. So that I would always remember to hold on to ya with my last dying breath, should ya ever want to leave my side one day. Trust me?"

I could feel the last rays of the sun reflect the brilliance of my smile as I nodded and held on to her hands.

"I believe you."

* * *

_**Final Note: **And with that... I conclude my first ever fanfiction. I hoped you have enjoyed it so far. And this is your last chance to tell me how you really feel by hitting the Review button! If you just wanna say "#$%^, Elite! Why did you have to end it?", its also fine by me :p Sequel anyone? Unfortunately, Haruka-chan already had "The Simple Life", so I can't really have "The Complicated Life"... and I don't think anyone would appreciate me writing about mundane Fang and Light stuff, like brushing their teeth and what-not._

If not, the AU sequel of sorts is in my other continuing story, "Midnight Sun". Yes, some shameless advertising here. Do check it out! (Though I'm taking a short breather cos of RL and to mourn the completion of my fanfic) To all my readers and reviewers, have a great year ahead! Goodbye 2010, Helloooo 2011! Remember the lesson, its not about the what-ifs, its about the here and now. Stop stressing out and fretting over your brilliant, ambitious five-year plan. If you believe in yourself, it will sort itself out...


End file.
